bling

1. I wish its already May so that I can party with my high school friends and do this Baywatch theme dekada ’80. I can’t wait to see everyone in their bikinis and trunks. And we all have something to remember when we turn 40.
2. I wish I live in Manila so that I can have botox every month. Dahil dream ko maging robot. Hahaha!
3. I wish I can travel every month so that I won’t get bored. O sige, whisper with wings na lang, para lipad lang ng lipad.
4. I wish I will be forever young so that I don’t have to suffer from may rayuma (arthritis) when I dance all night. Feeling sweet 16 kasi.
5. I wish my friends wont get tired of taking care of me, especially when we are out drinking and partying, and suddenly gotta to go…kailangan bang ikabit ang toilet sa likod ko? Daiper ang tawag dun.
6. I wish some people would stop judging me because I didn’t join American Idol ok. But if it means helping others to have a life….Go Ahead! I have so much to give naman e. Hahaha!
7. I wish people stop whining how their life sucks. Life will never be beautiful, that is why they invented Botox.
8. I wish Taco will often bathed himself often because he really stinks. Saan kaya siya nagmana?
9. I wish nanny Joy will shave her hair on the legs kasi it’s so kadire. Hahaha!
10. I wish Scott would agree that we sleep in different bedroom so that I can harass him every night.
11. I wish I can really push myself this time to follow my dreams…to be a famous porn star…hahaha! Nope, of course, to be a interior decorator. Ende na lang puro someday. Nakakapagod na rin teh.
12. I wish there is an outlet malls in Singapore, so that I would love to stay here forever.
13. I wish I will get my 2 carats diamond ring soon. Kaya nga wish e. Huwag na magreklamo.
14. I wish I can master the art of having a flawless make up and not looking like someone punch me after a night of drinking and partying. Ende na kakatuwa ang mukhang vampire.
15. I wish I would stop smoking because I’m really beginning to hate the smell and the effect it does to my skin. Plastic!
16. I wish I could enjoy wearing my 3 inches heels without having a crouching tiger toenails after.
17. I wish I could turn back the time and be as healthy as before. But then again, thanks to my operation, without the gallbladder, I don’t have to worry ever about getting fat.
18. I wish Scott would allow me to style him. Seriously, the 80′s jeans and plaids is so american farmer…hahahaha!
19. I wish Tico hair will grow back again. I miss those days when she is perfectly beautiful. But then again, you can’t have everything.
20. I wish people in general would learn to live life and just be happy. Bitterness is next to ugliness. Promise!
21. I wish, I would have the strength and courage like my mother-in-law. In spite of what she is going through right now. Not once I heard her complain.
22. I wish, I have Scott character who remains calm and sensible in spite of what mom is going through right now. If I was on his position, I probably become overly drama.
23. I wish I will have a bigger butt…(Coming soon!!!)
24. I wish there would be no more earthquake. Seriously, I’m freaking out. I hope this is not the end.
25. I wish I could drink like crazy and never suffer from hang over. Err…maybe I should drink wisely.
26. I wish all my friends and love ones their wish will come true.
27. I wish my plants, especially my herbs won’t keep dying. I know, I need to spend more time with you but I also need to work so that I can afford to buy more of your sister and brothers.
28. I wish my younger sisters won’t go through a lot of hardship to find their destiny.
29. I wish my parents are less dramatic…but then again…life is boring without their dramas.
30. I wish, I can travel soon to Cambodia. Really…really want!
31. I wish there is an easy way to make money. Damn!  I am too old to be a prostitute or a porn star.
32. I wish, we can travel to Europe soon.
33. I wish, when there are days when the sky is gray and the plants are brown and I need a moment of silence, my sugar won’t go up. It’s not fun when I can’t even eat my comfort food and I am feeling blue. Teh, paminsan minsan nalulungkot rin ako. Ende ako parati nakavalium.
34. I wish more opportunities to make money so I can support my cats lifestyle. Sisihin ba ang pusa?
35. I wish I will never lost my humor in every tragedy and challenge that comes through my way.
36. I wish my once a year big event…wont just happen once a year. Hmnnn…ok, maybe too much wishing already. Alam nyo yan mga vaklush ang malaking show ko. Hehehehe!
37. I wish on my 37th birthday, I will have a lot more of diamonds, fabulous body, shoes, bags and be more healthy so that I can enjoy all these. Sorry, I won’t ask for world peace, since I am not running for Miss Universe or wish for everyone’s happiness. Haler, it’s my own birthday wish. Kanyang-kanya wish lang yan. Wala naman sinabi ang taas na bawal ang maraming wish. Kaya, I am allowed to have a selfish wish…hehehehe!

Honestly, I have so much to be thankful. I am turning 37 soon and having this, so called remarkable life. Not because it’s perfect. Hello! Anu ka, adik? Simply, because I stop worrying, and trying to be someone I am not. Mahirap maging wonder woman neng. Although, there are certain things I wished I have known when I was younger but haler, mageksena regrets ba itoh? Feeling kasali sa telenovela…Honestly, I had those moments too. That I wished I had done things differently. However, I realize (paulit-ulit na lang itong emote) that I would have never be as happy and contented as I am right now kahit walang “full time career”. When you’re earning less, needs becomes lesser.  Ang plastic ko noh? Hahahaha! This year, I learned to appreciate simple (define simple?) things in life and certain matters are just the way the are. So, there is really no point of getting bothered that is not a matter of life and death. Yes, I still have problems, issues, failures and stress. Kung si Darna nga, nanga-ngarag ako pa kaya? Life is a matter of accepting what you have right now and embracing it. Bow!

One must start a new journey to begin a new chapter. It’s already March 2011, as usual it took me 100 decade again to update my blog. Life, wasn’t that easy last year. With so many health  issues, I thought, they needed me in heaven…or hell (?). Hehehehe! But since, masamang damu ang lola mo, marami pang goats and cows ang makikinabang sa akin. Sometimes, I wonder too where I get all my super power. Haler, ano akala mo sa akin si Jose Rizal Statue sa Luneta….cemento? Of course, I had a lot moments….duh?

It was August of last year, I decided to take control of my life. It wasn’t an easy option. Kahit magpabotox pa ako araw-araw, ende na gaganda ang pakikiramdam ko. Feeling ko araw-araw ako si Linda Blair..nasasaniban na kung anu-ano. I swear, the pain was so excruciating that I thought it won’t ever end. But I guess, God is watching me. I must have done something right in my life, that he sent me an angel.

Yes, I know. It’s also a big shock for me…like being confirmed I am no longer a lesbo but a bi….hahaha! Gosh! Welcome to my new life and I don’t know where I am heading…except of course a full time slave of my dickhead husband….hehehe! Well, since I was given no choice and even if I dance naked…I embrace life as it is now…..Fine, it’s not easy ok. Gosh! I work 7 days a week now.

They say change is the most difficult to face…because you have to let go of your fear. But we need challenge in our life so go lang. After I was diagnosed with gallstones in my gallbladder and had it removed, I never anticipated the changes it would bring into my life. Major…major siya teh! Para lang may nagpsabog ng top 1000 dirty secrets ko. Hehehe! I mean, it’s a not really life threatening. Since OA ako, kaya huwag na kayong mashockness.

Anyway, in the next 43 days or less, I will be celebrating my 37th birthday…so isang malaking kavogue-gan itoh. Plus, it’s gonna be our 7th year wedding anniversary. Kaloka teh, at buo-buo pa talaga mga katawan namin at ende pa kami nagpatayan to the greatest level floor. Ende naman kaya adik noh? Hahaha! I have to say, it’s one of my biggest accomplishment in life. Promise! So, I really have so many things to be thankful and happy. Bawal na talaga magreklamo kay God. And not only that, bumait na rin by 10% ang nasasaniban kong pusa na si Taco, isama na rin natin si yaya Joy. After my operation, I was able to celebrate life with my good friends and family in Singapore, Malaysia, Bali, Philippines and the US of A. In other words, jetsetter ako…taray ko noh? Ikaw na maging kamag-anak ni Rica. Pero ende kaya isang kaluluwa na lang ako??? Scary……naku, ende pa ako Lord ready dahil wala pa akong complete set ng birkin. Of course, some things will never change, makulit pa rin si Scott at pati sa facebookng wall ko, umeksena na rin siya, si Tico nauubos pa rin ang buhok nya sa pwet dahil sa asar kay Taco, si yaya Joy, makapal pa rin ang buhok sa legs, nanay ko dakilang drama queen pa rin sama ko na si popcy and I’m still selfish, greedy, vain and overly dramatics. But that’s me and my extraordinary life. Pak! Akala mo hollywood star lang na umaariba.

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my new best friend…B like hello Botox. Yes, it’s true..I am now a confirmed robot gay. Kinareer ko talaga siya ng bongga-bongga. I’ve been wanting to do this for the longest time. Never really had a chance ’til a friend of mine recommended me to this wonderful doctor.  This time, it’s destiny. Parang lang pag-ibig teh..kailangan dumating ng kusa. Ende pwedeng isang tamlbing lang, getsing mo na agad.

By the way, oppsss…if you find this totally unacceptable…err…even offensive or outrageous…why I even have to discuss this in my blog and expose myself…what can  I do? This is MY BLOG. Remember, it’s all about ME…ME…ME. And plus, can afford na lola mo. So, don’t look at me with your judging eyes, at nakataas pa ang kilay as if I’m the biggest loser of Asia. I don’t have qualms of sharing my secret(?). Vaklush, I don’t need a double life. I am not a CIA or FBI. At wala rin akong balik maging Alias. Truelish lang ako sa isip, salita at gawa. I’m matured enough to handle my marriage, Botox pa kaya? Understand, we have different opinions and issue about this. But I am not seeking approval. Lets be honest friend..magkapi-kapihan muna tayo neng ha…ito ang mahiwaganng salamin ni Kuya Boy. Do you really like what you are seeing? Hmnnn…huwag kang umaarte Pinokyo dyan. Sasampalin ka ni Kapitan Kidlat. Well, if you disagree…I don’t care. Harharhar! As long as you are truly happy….with capital GO. Congrats neng. Ito ang award ni Ate V, ikaw na maging Reyna Elena. I am not a celebrity and I don’t have ambition to be one…haler! Just the same, I also love myself (so much) that even when I die, I want to be a fucking fabulous corpse. Gets?

People usually assume when you are vain (like me) and do this things against nature….are the lowest act of a human specie. So, feeling mo hayuf ako? Ganun? As if, I’m  pathetic, insecure and insane. Tell you dear, it’s not my nature to be remembered as fugly old lady with 160 pairs of shoes. I am not afraid of growing old and always been proud of my age. But if  there are things I can fix it now, why wait for the next 100 years? Yeses! My life is not perfect. I have insecurities…who doesn’t? However, it doesn’t make me a lesser person. I may be bored and sad once in awhile. Ano feeling mo nakavalium ako parati?  So far, I still find my life fulfilling. I am not insane (YET!) or plan to visit the asylum. My feet are still very much grounded even so I’m wearing a higher heels and better shoes. I am very much aware of reality. That is why I made this decisions.

It’s funny when people tells me how good I look  and they can’t believe I am 36. Of course, honesty is the best policy, I reveal my no.1 beauty tip. Then with this confusing look…ask me the big WHY? Haler, you just told me how I look young and fabulous then you ask me why? You think, I am a cartoon character that doesn’t get old? Or some would ask…Are you ok? Bakit mukha na ba ako lukring?

People usually assume when you do this, you feel nothing. They didn’t cut anything from my brains ok. Right now, am not yet a full bloom robot. Yes, I still feel emotion. May libog pa rin ate mo. Just the same, I have my glorious moment…hahahaha! It doesn’t change who and what I am. It’s just that, I feel so freaking fabulous! Kahit ende na ako maligo, freshness pa rin ang ate mo. Why should I wait ’til 40 when I can enjoy it now? Everyday, it still amaze me how it changes my new look. I feel so beautiful outside and inside. My gosh! I can really afford it…hahahaha! Actually, I saved a lot of money and time. Cost me fortune buying all these anti-aging cream that takes forever to take effects. Imagine the possibility of fixing it in just few minutes instead of 10 thousand years?

All right, it wasn’t easy at first. In fact, I was scared to death. You know, the what if thing? There’s no turning back once something goes wrong. Anything could possibly happen to my face. I was aware of the consequence. Kamusta naman teh, e marunong naman ako magbasa. But it’s now or never. It helps that I went to a reputable doctor which is very important. Take note of that friend!

Nevertheless, bear in mind that Botox is not a promise to your happiness and self-esteem. It just fixed unwanted lines for awhile. It doesn’t last forever or change who you are and what you feel inside. It  usually can last 4-5 months, depends on your lifestyle. Most importantly…Yes, you also have to understand all the side effects. Read more about it. I am not a doctor. So, please spare me some medical questions. And when you do it, you make sure it’s a real doctor. Ende doktor-doktoran lang sa Divisoria. Haler, its you face teh. Don’t just let anyone insert it just because they know how to inject. It seems simple but it’s very crucial. Most important, be aware and ready of the pros and cons. And once you have it…Enjoy it. Like I do. (Shittt! Nauubosan na ako ng english, promise!) Hahaha! Yon lang ang lesson for today.

Pasabog mula sa Dyosa ng mga Vaklush!

Two months from now, we are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary (again). Because we are rich, we got married twice. Hahaha! Nah, my dearest diva mader will never forgive me if I don’t get married in church. Seriously, I wish we did not spent that much money. Should ha ve opted for a bigger diamond (greedy…greedy…greedy). Apparently, Scott believe I should get the best wedding, so that I will always remember it for the rest of my life…sweet!

The truth is…of course not. When I’m angry, piss and furious all I can think is to torture him with the cockroach, scare him to death with grasshopper or get even…serve him with pig’s tongue or dinuguan (pork blood stew). Funny thing about marriage, there’s no handbook that tells you the right formula. If someone tells me that their marriage is easy, I wanna slap that person. Teh, wala ka sa Hollywood. Kaya huwag na magambition maging best actress. There were moments in my life, I had thought of giving up.  Wait…..it does not include my shoes and LV’s. Not a conjugal property ok. Sometimes..errr…ok…most of time…the reasons are senseless and stupid. Dahil sa kakalatan nya, nagsuot ako ng ninja outfit ko plus karate kid. Come to think of it, why its seems easier to forgive your enemies than the one you love? Ridiculous, right?

But then, I don’t have ambition to become a saint. So, it’s ok to be a bitch. I know, most of us believe that the person we love shouldn’t cause us pain or at least, not try to hurt us. Hello…hello world!? Planet of the universe, wake up. And worst, we are so aware that they too are just human like us, who is imperfect in every sense. Yet, we try to be blind to the truth, that not a soul can guarantee us happiness. And this is what I learned from my marriage. Yet, we want to convince ourselve that there are such thing as happily ever after…Who doesn’t want to live in fairy tales?

After 6 years, I learned each day by heart the word commitment. Fine, sometimes I forgot…like when there is sign…SALE. I’m just a diva, you know with so many needs. It is no longer a word that just pass through my mini brains. I digest and absorb every letter. Easy to say but hard to achieve. Yet, the most important factor in every relationship in order to flourish. There is no such thing as one way. Errr..kasi i’m two way ang lola mo. Hahahaha! That is why there are 4 seasons di va? Because it’s not everyday the sun shines ever…haler! Commitment is the one of the strand that can weathers the storms when things gets complicated and thorny.

I don’t believe in forever…eat tayo together. But what I know, Scott and I are very much committed to this marriage. One way or another, we might (or we will) fail each other…it’s not even a question…hahahaha…and it’s all right because we knew if one of us forgets…the other one will remind the promise we vowed…and that is…no matter what…I won’t give up my LV’s! Hahahaha!

Happy Morning!