bling

Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my new best friend…B like hello Botox. Yes, it’s true..I am now a confirmed robot gay. Kinareer ko talaga siya ng bongga-bongga. I’ve been wanting to do this for the longest time. Never really had a chance ’til a friend of mine recommended me to this wonderful doctor.  This time, it’s destiny. Parang lang pag-ibig teh..kailangan dumating ng kusa. Ende pwedeng isang tamlbing lang, getsing mo na agad.

By the way, oppsss…if you find this totally unacceptable…err…even offensive or outrageous…why I even have to discuss this in my blog and expose myself…what can  I do? This is MY BLOG. Remember, it’s all about ME…ME…ME. And plus, can afford na lola mo. So, don’t look at me with your judging eyes, at nakataas pa ang kilay as if I’m the biggest loser of Asia. I don’t have qualms of sharing my secret(?). Vaklush, I don’t need a double life. I am not a CIA or FBI. At wala rin akong balik maging Alias. Truelish lang ako sa isip, salita at gawa. I’m matured enough to handle my marriage, Botox pa kaya? Understand, we have different opinions and issue about this. But I am not seeking approval. Lets be honest friend..magkapi-kapihan muna tayo neng ha…ito ang mahiwaganng salamin ni Kuya Boy. Do you really like what you are seeing? Hmnnn…huwag kang umaarte Pinokyo dyan. Sasampalin ka ni Kapitan Kidlat. Well, if you disagree…I don’t care. Harharhar! As long as you are truly happy….with capital GO. Congrats neng. Ito ang award ni Ate V, ikaw na maging Reyna Elena. I am not a celebrity and I don’t have ambition to be one…haler! Just the same, I also love myself (so much) that even when I die, I want to be a fucking fabulous corpse. Gets?

People usually assume when you are vain (like me) and do this things against nature….are the lowest act of a human specie. So, feeling mo hayuf ako? Ganun? As if, I’m  pathetic, insecure and insane. Tell you dear, it’s not my nature to be remembered as fugly old lady with 160 pairs of shoes. I am not afraid of growing old and always been proud of my age. But if  there are things I can fix it now, why wait for the next 100 years? Yeses! My life is not perfect. I have insecurities…who doesn’t? However, it doesn’t make me a lesser person. I may be bored and sad once in awhile. Ano feeling mo nakavalium ako parati?  So far, I still find my life fulfilling. I am not insane (YET!) or plan to visit the asylum. My feet are still very much grounded even so I’m wearing a higher heels and better shoes. I am very much aware of reality. That is why I made this decisions.

It’s funny when people tells me how good I look  and they can’t believe I am 36. Of course, honesty is the best policy, I reveal my no.1 beauty tip. Then with this confusing look…ask me the big WHY? Haler, you just told me how I look young and fabulous then you ask me why? You think, I am a cartoon character that doesn’t get old? Or some would ask…Are you ok? Bakit mukha na ba ako lukring?

People usually assume when you do this, you feel nothing. They didn’t cut anything from my brains ok. Right now, am not yet a full bloom robot. Yes, I still feel emotion. May libog pa rin ate mo. Just the same, I have my glorious moment…hahahaha! It doesn’t change who and what I am. It’s just that, I feel so freaking fabulous! Kahit ende na ako maligo, freshness pa rin ang ate mo. Why should I wait ’til 40 when I can enjoy it now? Everyday, it still amaze me how it changes my new look. I feel so beautiful outside and inside. My gosh! I can really afford it…hahahaha! Actually, I saved a lot of money and time. Cost me fortune buying all these anti-aging cream that takes forever to take effects. Imagine the possibility of fixing it in just few minutes instead of 10 thousand years?

All right, it wasn’t easy at first. In fact, I was scared to death. You know, the what if thing? There’s no turning back once something goes wrong. Anything could possibly happen to my face. I was aware of the consequence. Kamusta naman teh, e marunong naman ako magbasa. But it’s now or never. It helps that I went to a reputable doctor which is very important. Take note of that friend!

Nevertheless, bear in mind that Botox is not a promise to your happiness and self-esteem. It just fixed unwanted lines for awhile. It doesn’t last forever or change who you are and what you feel inside. It  usually can last 4-5 months, depends on your lifestyle. Most importantly…Yes, you also have to understand all the side effects. Read more about it. I am not a doctor. So, please spare me some medical questions. And when you do it, you make sure it’s a real doctor. Ende doktor-doktoran lang sa Divisoria. Haler, its you face teh. Don’t just let anyone insert it just because they know how to inject. It seems simple but it’s very crucial. Most important, be aware and ready of the pros and cons. And once you have it…Enjoy it. Like I do. (Shittt! Nauubosan na ako ng english, promise!) Hahaha! Yon lang ang lesson for today.

Pasabog mula sa Dyosa ng mga Vaklush!

Two months from now, we are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary (again). Because we are rich, we got married twice. Hahaha! Nah, my dearest diva mader will never forgive me if I don’t get married in church. Seriously, I wish we did not spent that much money. Should ha ve opted for a bigger diamond (greedy…greedy…greedy). Apparently, Scott believe I should get the best wedding, so that I will always remember it for the rest of my life…sweet!

The truth is…of course not. When I’m angry, piss and furious all I can think is to torture him with the cockroach, scare him to death with grasshopper or get even…serve him with pig’s tongue or dinuguan (pork blood stew). Funny thing about marriage, there’s no handbook that tells you the right formula. If someone tells me that their marriage is easy, I wanna slap that person. Teh, wala ka sa Hollywood. Kaya huwag na magambition maging best actress. There were moments in my life, I had thought of giving up.  Wait…..it does not include my shoes and LV’s. Not a conjugal property ok. Sometimes..errr…ok…most of time…the reasons are senseless and stupid. Dahil sa kakalatan nya, nagsuot ako ng ninja outfit ko plus karate kid. Come to think of it, why its seems easier to forgive your enemies than the one you love? Ridiculous, right?

But then, I don’t have ambition to become a saint. So, it’s ok to be a bitch. I know, most of us believe that the person we love shouldn’t cause us pain or at least, not try to hurt us. Hello…hello world!? Planet of the universe, wake up. And worst, we are so aware that they too are just human like us, who is imperfect in every sense. Yet, we try to be blind to the truth, that not a soul can guarantee us happiness. And this is what I learned from my marriage. Yet, we want to convince ourselve that there are such thing as happily ever after…Who doesn’t want to live in fairy tales?

After 6 years, I learned each day by heart the word commitment. Fine, sometimes I forgot…like when there is sign…SALE. I’m just a diva, you know with so many needs. It is no longer a word that just pass through my mini brains. I digest and absorb every letter. Easy to say but hard to achieve. Yet, the most important factor in every relationship in order to flourish. There is no such thing as one way. Errr..kasi i’m two way ang lola mo. Hahahaha! That is why there are 4 seasons di va? Because it’s not everyday the sun shines ever…haler! Commitment is the one of the strand that can weathers the storms when things gets complicated and thorny.

I don’t believe in forever…eat tayo together. But what I know, Scott and I are very much committed to this marriage. One way or another, we might (or we will) fail each other…it’s not even a question…hahahaha…and it’s all right because we knew if one of us forgets…the other one will remind the promise we vowed…and that is…no matter what…I won’t give up my LV’s! Hahahaha!

Happy Morning!