bling

We are finally home!

After a long…long…winding hours of flying from summer to winter climate, zone to zone. A total of at least 26 hrs excluding the the lay over. From Singapore to Russia with Love (Moscow) to Houston…not Whitney Houston….But to the land of cowboys and cowgirls…Hahahaha! Final destination-Omaha, the city of cows…Omaha steak. My plaids outfit is a winner. The 2010 fashion trends in my world. Vaklush, pwede na talaga ako maging American farmer with my Tiffany bling-bling plus Chanel bag divang-diva ang eksena ko dito. Matutuwa is Jessica Parker sa aura ng lola mo. Pwede na pang feature sa federation ng mga lukring.

Aside from that, I am the only human race with a brown skin and black hair here. Yes, endangered specie ang diva-ness equals ME dahil napapaligiran ako ng mga anak ni Snow white. Exotic to the maximum level. Pinag-aagawan para lang sale sa Megamall. Hehehe! The truth is, I haven’t seen my cows friends ever since we came home. Busy ang telecommunications dahil smart ang gamit nila. May traffic dahil sa snow. Hehehe! Promise! Negative weather siya everyday. Para lang pregnancy test. So, this is what they call the land of milk and honey?

So what amuse me here? The bed, HGTV and ????? (isip-isip). You can not believe how much time I spend in the bed. 18 hours a day excluding eating. Vakla, wiz mag DIY dito kasi ninigas ang fingers ng lola mo. Para lang may arthritis. Unless, butch-oy ang drama ko dito. Winner siya sa patigasan. Hahaha! Well, I can beat my pussy cats in sleeping marathon. My LIFE here depends on the weather forecast. Kailangan ko dito ang salamin ni Tito Boy Abunda. Dahil wala akong talent sa ice-skating at wiz ko macomatose with the ugly winter outfit. Eksenang “Babaeng sa Bintana” ang drama ng diva-ness dito.

My new bling-blingssssss with multiple SSS…is what keeps me grinning all the time. Yes! Pwede ako maging alajera/farmer. Multi-tasking para lang sex life ko. Hahaha! I finally got my Darna cuff which I’ve been eying since my birth, the Tiffany Notes Cuff and I got 3 new big rings as big as my eyeball and I truly love them to death. Vakla, ganun talaga ang mga diva, nagmumurang materialistic. In times like this, money can buy my happiness. At dahil sa mayabang ako, I can’t wait to go home and show my new babies.

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“Packshet ang mga taxi driver! English..I hate taxi driver.” (Charing!)

I, the goddess of venus is extremely annoyed of how the taxi driver in Singapore are been behaving for the last 1 million years. Not only a number of them are quite rude but they are also e-pal with nagmumurang GREEDINESS. Really! My office is in River Valley, near Orchard. The paradise of the divas and the goddess–equals muah! So, I thought my life would be a lot easier since there will cab everywhere in this mother land. Apparently, they are choosy with their customer. Ano sila mga potah…namimili. Translate- even whore can not be picky of their client. And they best part between 9 to 10pm every day of God’s creation, they will just ignore you even if you flag them in the middle of the road. Gumulong ka man dyan sa putikan…deadma pa rin ang mga eksena ng pukemonster. And because its near to the clubbing area plus extra fee if you flag in the taxi stand or pay additional $3 if you call…added the avariciousness aka kaswapangan/mercenary …they will rather spend extra fuel and time crossing to that other side in the name of making extra moola. Kahit nakasampal ka na sa mukha nila. I have called a thousand times to the cab company. I will probably end up having an affair with the customer service because I stalked  and call them all the time to report this unacceptable exploitation of passenger. Of course, you think this is Singapore they will do something about it. Gurl! My veins are already coming out -NR (No reaction). Pwede na ba ako tumakbong president ng mga kavadingan? Hahaha! Pero, promise! It’s not funny when you are stading and waiting for the cabs for an hour and you see them passing through your eyes…available…yet, they ignore you as if you don’t exist. Bulag sila neng!

So, why don’t I just buy a car instead? You think I have a money tree in my backyard? I wish! Unfortunately, a car in Singapura cost 3 times than any countries of the universe. Yes! Gold price siya vakla. And not to mention….I don’t know how to drive. Which, I also keep listing in my wish list for trillion years….but never happens. Goddess are allowed to have fears and evidently…haler…I am not perfect.

At this moment, I have no solution to this biggest issue of my life. Unless, I move to another planet. Or perhaps, this is the time I can practice my hidden power—-Voodoo! Hahaha! As if I have. Maybe I do. The last time I check in past life analysis website (http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/)… I used to be a servnat of dark forces.

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The goddess is working again…full-time. Truelish! I know and I felt that my true calling is to be forever full-time diva housewife. But I guess, my brains can not unravel the power of defining myself as “housewife”. I need to be constantly stimulated…not only sexually…hahahaha…but mentally. Haler! Gurl, your lola have a lot of talents naman noh! Not just bedscene! Hahaha! Besides, from time to time I wanna feel how to be a commoner like working, being a slave and making coffee for the boss. Ok, not so commoner! That’s so scary to even think about me making coffee for the boss. Oh my gosh! It’s like asking me to be straight! I can’t even straighten my hair. Hehehehe! A commoner who still wear a fabulous outfit and bling-bling with Cherrie Gil diva look. Keri! Besides, it’s really tiring to wear an outfit that only palengkeros and the palengkeras can appreciate the beauty of it. Derive from the word a palengke which is a type of public market common throughout the Pilipinas (Philippines). Why I am having translation here? Well, the goddess goes international. I have to make sure my “alien” fans club can understand me a little. Kaloka di ba? International beauty na talaga ito. Pati ako, lost na rin sa kwento because of the translation special effect that heaven knows what it means.

Keri over! Back to the palengke outfit. The question is…..Why! I have to be fabulous all the time? Because if you wear ugly outfit….it only show how you define yourself and life. Hint…hint! I don’t mean to offend people. As if I care…hahaha! But it really bugs when people go holiday and take a picture with their hawaiin/floral outfit or worst pambahay outfit. Meaning, fit to wear only inside your own home. Gets mo? My gaz! What the hell are you thinking? Really! Oh! Don’t hate me.Haler, people wake up! It’s really pucking repulsive! I know your on holiday but at least make an effort to wear something nice because these are the pictures you will keep forever and you will show to your friends or even enemies, children and grandchildren. And everyone will remember, that frightening outfit you wear when you went to Alaska. Imagine that! I admit,  have my own fair share of fashion disaster but these are the pictures you never showed in public. Fine, only shallow people like me will see that beauty is important. Wake up! People will always judge you the way you look. Whether, you admit it or not, but it does it get you. Especially, when you are never been ask for a date. Ok fine, you want to be a virgin ’til you die. Blah…blah….blah…Please spare me! Stop lying yourself. Of course, you want to feel beautiful and you want people to notice you. So, people in the universe, make an effort to look nice. If you can devote your time looking like a frog, I’m sure you can also commit some time looking like you belong to planet earth. E gusto mo pala mag ganyan outfit, di sana ende ka na umalis ng bahay. Di ba? Oh my gosh! I can feel a lot of people will despise me. Especially, my dear…dear…sister Rona, I bring peace! Hahaha! Tama ba isali ko siya sa blog. Love you sis!

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I just got back from our holiday first to Wellington, New Zealand and then Melbourne, Australia, last 13th of April.  But I really wished I stayed longer in Melbourne.  I love that place so much that I am planning to move there soon…as in!!!  Well, actually its not gonna happen like this year, nagiillusionary lang ako.  Aside from the fact we just moved to a new house and have a contract to finish so mga next year pa talaga…but seriously, I’m dying to move there that I keep scouting houses, apartments and condos that is either within or closer to the city area.  Pero, we haven’t filled out any application yet …Well, at least it keeps me busy dreaming about how my house or houses(?) gonna look like. I finally agreed with Scott to sell our house in Manila and use these money to buy a house when we move to Melbourne.  I am drooling as in tula laway sa ganda ng mga bahay dun.  My friend , Tess showed me around sa mga bahay-bahayan and furnitures stores …and with the prices, neng, feeling ko asa big sale ako.  For a $300k as in super pretty na siya ha.  Samantalang dito sa Engapore, you can’t even but an HDB meaning a government housing.  Baka toilet or bomb shelter lang mararating ng 300k.

After living here in Singapore for over 7 years and properties are going up, as well as  the rent, it doesn’t make sense anymore. Feeling ko, forever na lang kami magrerent dito.  Because the houses we really like, ok fine…we have expensive taste…cost over $1.5m….O di ba? Sa Pinas, may swimming pool na ako nya, pati driver and katulong nabili ko na. But an average HDB would normally cost $500k and a house is more than $1m. Everything here is going up except salaries.  Plus, I really feel like laging eksena dito basta identified ka na Pinay equivalent to ninilbihan sa bahay….at ang laging tanong or comment, mapataxi, parlor, sari-sari store….Akala ko sat lang day off? Saan ka ninilbihan? Asan amo mo?  Ang bait naman amo binigyan ka pa ng credit card? Pinayagan ka magholiday ng amo at nakasq ka pa? (If going to airport). Taxi galing grocery naman…Inday, baka pagilitan tayo ng amo mo pag dito ako nagpark sa garage nyo. O di ba, ang ganda nila!

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