Honestly, I have so much to be thankful. I am turning 37 soon and having this, so called remarkable life. Not because it’s perfect. Hello! Anu ka, adik? Simply, because I stop worrying, and trying to be someone I am not. Mahirap maging wonder woman neng. Although, there are certain things I wished I have known when I was younger but haler, mageksena regrets ba itoh? Feeling kasali sa telenovela…Honestly, I had those moments too. That I wished I had done things differently. However, I realize (paulit-ulit na lang itong emote) that I would have never be as happy and contented as I am right now kahit walang “full time career”. When you’re earning less, needs becomes lesser.  Ang plastic ko noh? Hahahaha! This year, I learned to appreciate simple (define simple?) things in life and certain matters are just the way the are. So, there is really no point of getting bothered that is not a matter of life and death. Yes, I still have problems, issues, failures and stress. Kung si Darna nga, nanga-ngarag ako pa kaya? Life is a matter of accepting what you have right now and embracing it. Bow!

It was August of last year, I decided to take control of my life. It wasn’t an easy option. Kahit magpabotox pa ako araw-araw, ende na gaganda ang pakikiramdam ko. Feeling ko araw-araw ako si Linda Blair..nasasaniban na kung anu-ano. I swear, the pain was so excruciating that I thought it won’t ever end. But I guess, God is watching me. I must have done something right in my life, that he sent me an angel.

Yes, I know. It’s also a big shock for me…like being confirmed I am no longer a lesbo but a bi….hahaha! Gosh! Welcome to my new life and I don’t know where I am heading…except of course a full time slave of my dickhead husband….hehehe! Well, since I was given no choice and even if I dance naked…I embrace life as it is now…..Fine, it’s not easy ok. Gosh! I work 7 days a week now.

They say change is the most difficult to face…because you have to let go of your fear. But we need challenge in our life so go lang. After I was diagnosed with gallstones in my gallbladder and had it removed, I never anticipated the changes it would bring into my life. Major…major siya teh! Para lang may nagpsabog ng top 1000 dirty secrets ko. Hehehe! I mean, it’s a not really life threatening. Since OA ako, kaya huwag na kayong mashockness.

Anyway, in the next 43 days or less, I will be celebrating my 37th birthday…so isang malaking kavogue-gan itoh. Plus, it’s gonna be our 7th year wedding anniversary. Kaloka teh, at buo-buo pa talaga mga katawan namin at ende pa kami nagpatayan to the greatest level floor. Ende naman kaya adik noh? Hahaha! I have to say, it’s one of my biggest accomplishment in life. Promise! So, I really have so many things to be thankful and happy. Bawal na talaga magreklamo kay God. And not only that, bumait na rin by 10% ang nasasaniban kong pusa na si Taco, isama na rin natin si yaya Joy. After my operation, I was able to celebrate life with my good friends and family in Singapore, Malaysia, Bali, Philippines and the US of A. In other words, jetsetter ako…taray ko noh? Ikaw na maging kamag-anak ni Rica. Pero ende kaya isang kaluluwa na lang ako??? Scary……naku, ende pa ako Lord ready dahil wala pa akong complete set ng birkin. Of course, some things will never change, makulit pa rin si Scott at pati sa facebookng wall ko, umeksena na rin siya, si Tico nauubos pa rin ang buhok nya sa pwet dahil sa asar kay Taco, si yaya Joy, makapal pa rin ang buhok sa legs, nanay ko dakilang drama queen pa rin sama ko na si popcy and I’m still selfish, greedy, vain and overly dramatics. But that’s me and my extraordinary life. Pak! Akala mo hollywood star lang na umaariba.

By the way, oppsss…if you find this totally unacceptable…err…even offensive or outrageous…why I even have to discuss this in my blog and expose myself…what can  I do? This is MY BLOG. Remember, it’s all about ME…ME…ME. And plus, can afford na lola mo. So, don’t look at me with your judging eyes, at nakataas pa ang kilay as if I’m the biggest loser of Asia. I don’t have qualms of sharing my secret(?). Vaklush, I don’t need a double life. I am not a CIA or FBI. At wala rin akong balik maging Alias. Truelish lang ako sa isip, salita at gawa. I’m matured enough to handle my marriage, Botox pa kaya? Understand, we have different opinions and issue about this. But I am not seeking approval. Lets be honest friend..magkapi-kapihan muna tayo neng ha…ito ang mahiwaganng salamin ni Kuya Boy. Do you really like what you are seeing? Hmnnn…huwag kang umaarte Pinokyo dyan. Sasampalin ka ni Kapitan Kidlat. Well, if you disagree…I don’t care. Harharhar! As long as you are truly happy….with capital GO. Congrats neng. Ito ang award ni Ate V, ikaw na maging Reyna Elena. I am not a celebrity and I don’t have ambition to be one…haler! Just the same, I also love myself (so much) that even when I die, I want to be a fucking fabulous corpse. Gets?

People usually assume when you are vain (like me) and do this things against nature….are the lowest act of a human specie. So, feeling mo hayuf ako? Ganun? As if, I’m  pathetic, insecure and insane. Tell you dear, it’s not my nature to be remembered as fugly old lady with 160 pairs of shoes. I am not afraid of growing old and always been proud of my age. But if  there are things I can fix it now, why wait for the next 100 years? Yeses! My life is not perfect. I have insecurities…who doesn’t? However, it doesn’t make me a lesser person. I may be bored and sad once in awhile. Ano feeling mo nakavalium ako parati?  So far, I still find my life fulfilling. I am not insane (YET!) or plan to visit the asylum. My feet are still very much grounded even so I’m wearing a higher heels and better shoes. I am very much aware of reality. That is why I made this decisions.

It’s funny when people tells me how good I look  and they can’t believe I am 36. Of course, honesty is the best policy, I reveal my no.1 beauty tip. Then with this confusing look…ask me the big WHY? Haler, you just told me how I look young and fabulous then you ask me why? You think, I am a cartoon character that doesn’t get old? Or some would ask…Are you ok? Bakit mukha na ba ako lukring?

People usually assume when you do this, you feel nothing. They didn’t cut anything from my brains ok. Right now, am not yet a full bloom robot. Yes, I still feel emotion. May libog pa rin ate mo. Just the same, I have my glorious moment…hahahaha! It doesn’t change who and what I am. It’s just that, I feel so freaking fabulous! Kahit ende na ako maligo, freshness pa rin ang ate mo. Why should I wait ’til 40 when I can enjoy it now? Everyday, it still amaze me how it changes my new look. I feel so beautiful outside and inside. My gosh! I can really afford it…hahahaha! Actually, I saved a lot of money and time. Cost me fortune buying all these anti-aging cream that takes forever to take effects. Imagine the possibility of fixing it in just few minutes instead of 10 thousand years?

All right, it wasn’t easy at first. In fact, I was scared to death. You know, the what if thing? There’s no turning back once something goes wrong. Anything could possibly happen to my face. I was aware of the consequence. Kamusta naman teh, e marunong naman ako magbasa. But it’s now or never. It helps that I went to a reputable doctor which is very important. Take note of that friend!

Nevertheless, bear in mind that Botox is not a promise to your happiness and self-esteem. It just fixed unwanted lines for awhile. It doesn’t last forever or change who you are and what you feel inside. It  usually can last 4-5 months, depends on your lifestyle. Most importantly…Yes, you also have to understand all the side effects. Read more about it. I am not a doctor. So, please spare me some medical questions. And when you do it, you make sure it’s a real doctor. Ende doktor-doktoran lang sa Divisoria. Haler, its you face teh. Don’t just let anyone insert it just because they know how to inject. It seems simple but it’s very crucial. Most important, be aware and ready of the pros and cons. And once you have it…Enjoy it. Like I do. (Shittt! Nauubosan na ako ng english, promise!) Hahaha! Yon lang ang lesson for today.

Pasabog mula sa Dyosa ng mga Vaklush!

The truth is…of course not. When I’m angry, piss and furious all I can think is to torture him with the cockroach, scare him to death with grasshopper or get even…serve him with pig’s tongue or dinuguan (pork blood stew). Funny thing about marriage, there’s no handbook that tells you the right formula. If someone tells me that their marriage is easy, I wanna slap that person. Teh, wala ka sa Hollywood. Kaya huwag na magambition maging best actress. There were moments in my life, I had thought of giving up.  Wait…..it does not include my shoes and LV’s. Not a conjugal property ok. Sometimes..errr…ok…most of time…the reasons are senseless and stupid. Dahil sa kakalatan nya, nagsuot ako ng ninja outfit ko plus karate kid. Come to think of it, why its seems easier to forgive your enemies than the one you love? Ridiculous, right?

But then, I don’t have ambition to become a saint. So, it’s ok to be a bitch. I know, most of us believe that the person we love shouldn’t cause us pain or at least, not try to hurt us. Hello…hello world!? Planet of the universe, wake up. And worst, we are so aware that they too are just human like us, who is imperfect in every sense. Yet, we try to be blind to the truth, that not a soul can guarantee us happiness. And this is what I learned from my marriage. Yet, we want to convince ourselve that there are such thing as happily ever after…Who doesn’t want to live in fairy tales?

After 6 years, I learned each day by heart the word commitment. Fine, sometimes I forgot…like when there is sign…SALE. I’m just a diva, you know with so many needs. It is no longer a word that just pass through my mini brains. I digest and absorb every letter. Easy to say but hard to achieve. Yet, the most important factor in every relationship in order to flourish. There is no such thing as one way. Errr..kasi i’m two way ang lola mo. Hahahaha! That is why there are 4 seasons di va? Because it’s not everyday the sun shines ever…haler! Commitment is the one of the strand that can weathers the storms when things gets complicated and thorny.

I don’t believe in forever…eat tayo together. But what I know, Scott and I are very much committed to this marriage. One way or another, we might (or we will) fail each other…it’s not even a question…hahahaha…and it’s all right because we knew if one of us forgets…the other one will remind the promise we vowed…and that is…no matter what…I won’t give up my LV’s! Hahahaha!

Happy Morning!

So plastic….ende naman tagaHollywood si Inday. Yesterday, I was so excited because just bought a sofa that I thought would be the answer to all my unhappiness in this so called my diva life. We all know I’m a material girl. So, don’t get shock and please I don’t need your pity. I don’t have pathetic life, I’m just bored. I am not allowed to get bored? Don’t tell me…everyday, you live happily…ano na ka drugs? Huwag kang mag inarte. Dahil I’m sure one way or another, we all feel this way. Magkapatotoo ka Greta?

Today, my episode…bored…bored…bored! Is this depression? Hmnn..oh…it’s more depressing to part with my shoes and bags. So, therefore I conclude..it’s definitely NOT. Although, I can’t help wondering if my end is near to the mental….not institution…haler! …perhaps..mental breakdown or another phase of my drama mode? I’m usually hyper all the time but of course, because I’m sick…sakit-sakitan ito. Changes have to be made so that I still can live forever with my LV’s and Chanel. Besides, I haven’t got my ultimate dream..Birkin. Ende pa ako pwede makiparty sa heaven.

I’ve been thinking of having a new hobby…not hubby. He is still useful and recyclable. Hahaha! Not cross stitch…please! I’ve been redecorating again my house…again which of course, drives everyone nuts. Even my pussy cats are under a lot of stress. Then, planning to renew my love of photography or perhaps…repaint my furniture…hmmnnn…I don’t know how they connect to each other. But what I know, I can’t let this misery affects me because it so unglam. Sayang naman ang botox teh. Besides, I lost already 6lbs. I can be a porn star again…hahaha!

We go through this cycle in life that we wish someone could find us an answer. Nagoogle ko na rin siya. We search why there is an emptiness we feel inside. And we shouldn’t startle…why? Haler! Simply that’s what you called living. If dead…you don’t have empathy kaya. When we feel down, we search for something, heaven knows what it is. We want our friends and love ones to understand us. How could they? Our minds is not on the same hard drive and memory. It will take awhile to mastered life…errr…maybe not ever…but I know, somewhere out there…a big sale is waiting for me. Full stop….abangan na lang ang susunod na kabanata.

Good morning sabado!

Anyways, what matters now, I’m back to my own haven (?), wearing my new fabulous sho-es. This is why I love US of A. Despite the agony I went through. Yeah! They tortured me, I am in so much pain…Can you imagine a life shopping in a mall where all your favorite designers from Kate Spade, Michael Kors, BeBe, Burberry, Armani to Calvin Klein is just few inches away yet you only have have 6 hours to shop? I think Fafe doesn’t love me anymore…huhuhuhu! Really!? I know I am not the best wife in the world but I always feed him with all his favorite food. I would even carry and put that stinky friend dumplings in my LV bag. Isn’t that enough? Hahaha! So yeah! I was so disheartened of the turn of events. Why can’t I just have everything? Is it too much to ask? *cut*….take two…hahahaha

Next please….another reason why I haven’t writing that much because of my busy schedule…work, parties, shopping, traveling, charity…Girl! It’s tiring to be this fabulous…..hahahaha! Ok, serious na ito, after our trip in US last Christmas. I was been feeling sick all these time. Ende sakit-sakitan. Totoong sickness gallore talaga. It’s like week after week, I have to visit my doctor. Para na nga kaming may affair. I was getting frustrated because 6 months ago, I was full of life. I’m can do a lot of things and always on the go. Para lang nakavalium lagi. Then I woke up one day, which I thought was a simple flu..then the next week something else again. I can feel something is not right, but I’m Ria, if you can’t fix it…buy it.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the case this. For the very first time…like a virgin… I have to fully grasp the word DISCIPLINE. Syempre, wala ako nyan. Nobody tells me what I am suppose since birth. Naglalakad na ako nung pinanganak ako ni Divang Inay…hehehehe. Para lang tiyanak di ba? My friends and family already warned me that I have to take care of myself. But  of course, feeling Darna na may super power dahil maganda ang Botox…Deadma lang. Only old people get sick not me who wear 3 inches heels everyday. Then pok….last May, I went back to Manila to celebrate my birthday. Initially, I thought I don’t need to get a check up since I was feeling better. But my mader dear constantly nags at me. Nabinggi ako ateh. So super go na, thinking nothing would possibly go wrong. Result…ate, you have pre diabetes. At first, I thought oh…that’s easy..I can fix it.

Of course, I’m such in denial queen. How could I possibly fix it when your body is no longer 16. I always wish for nice shoes and bags, and pray for a good deal but not for good health. Mali pala wish ko sa buhay. Balik nga ako sa mahiwagang bangga.

There were days I would cried because I’m so tired of feeling sick. There were times, I crave so much for the food that I can no longer have. There were instances in my mind, I would think..screw it…my meds will take care of it. There are seconds I wish I could bring back the time and should have live a healthier life. Self pity became my best friend. Deep down, I felt so alone. Yeah, people says they understand what you are going through…actually, they don’t. And nobody will…except you.

Changes is not always easy to embrace. Sometimes, I wonder what could have been…if only…but what he heck! I would never trade the fun I had anyway. I know I should have been heedful of the consequence…maybe I was…but we only live once. There are days that we might feel down but we probably have more better life than others, a lot to be thankful and more years to make mistakes.

Today, I was reminded that my life is indeed a beautiful one and I have travel some shaky, rocky and dramatic path…because it is me…and no one else will do.

Oh! Here’s the interesting part…..A unique trait of swardspeak is that it immediately identifies the speaker as homosexual, making it easy for people of that orientation to signal to each other in a place where such tendencies are not easy to display (ie in the Philippines). So, which means genius…ako ay isang totoong vaklush lalo na galing ako Philippines. Hahahaha!

Anyways, here’s some words that I search from my lover boy, Mr Google. Some of these terms I often use or heard from my fabulous friends. Para naman naka align kayo sa universe ko. But promise me friend don’t get carried away. Or you will end up like me.Hehehe!

If you know more words, expressions, phrase…please share it with us. Huwag kang swapang ok. Ende sinasama ni lord sa heaven ang mga uncharitable people.

Below is the terms and conditions to be a truly gay asia. Hope this will help you in your daily life. Hahahaha!

English • Gay Lingo •Tagalog

A
After a long time: 48 Years, 50 Golden Years, 10,000 (Matagal )
A guy: hombre, om (Lalaki)
A lot: Seda (dami)
Anyways: Zsa-zsa Padilla
Asked when someone is taking too long to dress up: Anong petsa na? (Ang tagal-tagal mo gurl)

B

Be realistic: Kape, Capuccino, Coffeemate (Magising ka sa katotohanan)
Better than nothing: Compared to Lugaw (Kesa wala)
Bitchy, bitch: Tarush, chabaka, kabog, kavogue (Mataray)
Bitch, mean: Antibiotic,joray,medusa, bruja (Antipatika)
Bitter/sad,mad: Bitter Ocampo (Malungkot/sad, nagngingitngit/fuming mad, bitter)
Bluntly rejected: Barbra Streisand, Barbara Perez (Bara, binara)
Boy crush: Bet (Type, feel, gusto)
Boyfriend,girlfriend: Jowa, jowabelles, jowabella, bowa/bowamis (Karelasyon)
Brother: Brudra
Brief: Flag ceremony

C
Car: Karu (Kotse)
Caught in the act: Julie Andrew, Jolina Magdangal (Mahuli)
Caught: Julie Yap-Daza (Nahuli, huli)
Cheap: Chipangga (Baduy)
Cheap/inexpensive: Morayta, Murriah Carrey (Mura, sale)
Cigarette: Suba (Yosi)
Classmate: Clasmarurut, klasmarurut (Kaklase)
Closet gays/acting as men: Pamintang durog, pamenthols, pamen, paminta (Nagkukunwaring lalaki)

Closet gay: Closeta, Darna
Come in, to enter: Enter the Dragon, Entourage (Pasok)
Cover your nose: Scuba diving
Cruel: Lupita Kashiwahara (Malupit)
Cry, to cry: Crayola, luhaan (Umiyak, iyak)
Crazy: Lucresia Kasilag, lukring (Lukaret, baliw)
Criticize: Okray (Paninirang puri)
Cute boys at the back: Backstreet Boys

D

Drama queen, Someone who always likes to figure in a scene (like me): Eksena, eksenadora (Mahilig pumapel, mahilig sumabat)
Dense: Freestyle (Slow makagets, to understand)

Dirty, bearer of germs: Kuya Germs (Madumi)

Diva: Diva, divaness, dyosa, reyna, reyna ng kadiliman

Driver: Druva

E
Eat: Lafang (Kain)
Embarrassed: Award (Nahiya)
Excessive: Fatale (Sobra/excessive, to the maximum level)
Expensive: Mahalia Jackson, For Rica only (Mahal)

F
Face: Fez (Mukha)
Fat, Obese: Jubis, fatiness,mashoba, juba (Mataba, taba)
Father: Fudra, popsie (Tatay)
Free: Liberty, statue of Liberty, paroch (Libre)
Free loader: Kupal, wiz shyness, kapal fez (Makapal)
Formerly a straight man, now gay: X-Men (Dating lalaki. ngayon vading na)
Friend: Kiri (Kaibigan)
Frisky or promiscuous: Cathy Dennis (Makati)

G
Gay (mostly referring to guy gay): Juding, bading, backless, badingger
Gay, girl (used instead of one’s name, may refer to any gender): Baklah / Baklush, vaklush
Girl: bilat (Babae)
Going to place: Fly, jonta (Punta)
Goodbye: Vavush, Goodbye Suklay (Paalam, adios)
Gorgeous guy that can be a bf: Papable, pang bf ang arrive, yumyum, yummy

H
Here: Ditetch (Dito)

Hoping: Wish ko lang
Hungry: Tom Jones, tomguts, Tommy Lee Jones, Tom Jones-gutom (Namamatay na sa gutom)

Husband, boyfriend: Jowa, boylet, Papa, fafe, fafa (Asawa, kabit,dyow)

I
I, me: Watashi (Ako)
Irritated: Imbey,Im, kainis (Imbyerna,inis)
Irritating personality: Rita Gomez (Nakaka-irita, nakakainis)
Insult: Daot (Insulto)
Itchy, slut: Makati, potaching, potah, futah, futa (Malandi)

J
Jaw dropping, hard/having difficulty: Nosebleed
Jest, a joke, not serious: Charing, tienes (Joke lang, wow mali)
Jealous: Gelli de Belen, jelly ace (Selosa)

K
Karma: Carmi Martin (Karma)

L
Leave: Fly, Japan (Alis)
Lesbian: Bobo, tunggril, tiborsya, tibo, nyomboy, byanak
Like: Feel,  fillet o’ fish (Type, gusto, natipuhan)
Live-in partner: Lucky Home Partner
Little good looking: Certain, fwede na
Little bit good looking: Carry, keri
Low class: Dukha, commoner, marhinal, pulubi
Loser: Lucita Soriano (Loser na sorry pa)

M
Maid, nanny: Chiminey Cricket, chimmy a a (Chimay, helper, yaya)
Masturbate: DIY, biogesic, play with yourself
Men: Otoko (Lalake)
Me: Kes (Ko)
Money: Anda, andalu, Anjo Yllana, okane, atik, datung, That’s Entertainment, andalucia, Anju, Anjo Yllaña (Pera)
Mother, or someone older than you, or with more experience in life: Mudra, mami, mader
Mistake, error: Kaplang (Mali)

N

Nobody (referring to nobody): Lola eg. I am pretty, ask your lola.

None, nothing: Wiz, waz, mitchels, washington, wishing, wish (Wala)
No payment: Tax free (Libre,walang bayad)
Not ok, unacceptable: Char, charot, charing, charbroiled

O
OK or alright: Carry, keri, cash & carry (Sige)
Old person or old gay: Thunders, manyonda, thundercats, chandeliers, masyonda (DOM, matanda)
Old person: Wrangler (Gurang)
One who is over-acting: Emote, emote to death (Nag-inarte pa)
On the other hand, anyways: Keri over

P
Poor, no money: Purita Kalaw, purleta (Walang pera/broke, mahirap/poor)

R
Reprimanded: Award (Pinagalitan, pinagsabihan)
Rich, upper class: Rica Peralejo, Nina Richie Alagao (Mayaman,rich…from the Spanish word Rica)

S
Sex: Kang-kang, dyog-dyog, chique bang-bang
Shameless: Balaj (Balahura)

Shoes: Sho-es (Sapatos)

Small, tiny: Jutes, Jamaica (Maliit)

Small (most referring to private parts): Jutay (Maliit)

Small talk: Chova, Chovaline Kyle, chika lang
Smelly: Majontot,jontot (Mabaho)
Skinny:Fayatollah Kumenis, model (Payat)
Sis: Sistereka, sisterette
Someone with a loud voice: Lapel (Malakas ang boses)
Social climber: Sarah Jane Paez
Slow: Forever (Palagi/always, matagal, mabagal)
Stupid: Vovita, slow (Tanga)
Slut: Pocahontas

T
Taking a very long time: Years in the making, since birth
This: Ititch, etetch (Ito)
Tired: Pagoda Cold Wave Lotion, pagoda, ngarag, ngarag-ngaragan (Pagod)
Traitor: Anaconda (Ahas or a snake)
Tummy: Chanda Romero (Tiyan)
To cook: Cookie Chua, Cookie Monster (Magluto)
To console: In Fairness, in fairyland (Pampalubag loob)
To eat here: Eat and ditcher
To give: Givency, Janno Gibbs, Debbie Gibson (Bigay)
To go out and have fun (to gimik or to sashay seductively within the gimik): Rampa or rampage
To lose: Luz Valdez (Matalo)
To insult: Okray (Laitin)

To be seriously involved: Karir, career (Sineryoso ang isang bagay like BF or work)
To punch (verb): Jombag (Bugbog)
To rain: Reyna Elena (Ulan)
To say: Ibera (Sabihin)
To win: Winnie Santos, winner (Manalo, panalo)

U
Ugly: Chapter, chaka doll, chakaness, chaka, fangit, ugliness, babaeng walang mukha, grot (Pangit)
Uglier: Lost, super fangit
Upset or expression when you are upset, irritated: Pukemonster (Nakakainis talaga)
Unknown she or he: Cynthia Luster, walang kasarian (Hindi kilalang babae o lalake)
Untrue: Plastic, orocan

W
What,which: Anik, anitch (Ano)
When someone tells a sob story: Regal Drama Hour, Maalala Mo Kaya (Or referring when someone acts like another person, maybe a filpino showbiz personality or not. Eg: Ate V, Ikaw Ba yan?)

When someone tells a scary story: Shake, Rattle and Roll

Warm: Majinit (Mainit)

Y
Young gay: Badinglets, fresh (18 to 21 age bracket)
Young: Uta (Bata)

Sometimes when you forget a certain term or a word, you say echos, charing, chorva and chuva.

Hitad usually refers to another person may it be a gay, girl or guy who outbitches the others. Commonly used in a malicious manner, like when you are in a group and you are the bitches and the divas…..hmnnn…sounds like me….whispering to your friends how fangit the sho-es of that belat.

Ok, class dismiss. Hope everyone have fun reading this.

Diva-ness lives forever.

After a long…long…winding hours of flying from summer to winter climate, zone to zone. A total of at least 26 hrs excluding the the lay over. From Singapore to Russia with Love (Moscow) to Houston…not Whitney Houston….But to the land of cowboys and cowgirls…Hahahaha! Final destination-Omaha, the city of cows…Omaha steak. My plaids outfit is a winner. The 2010 fashion trends in my world. Vaklush, pwede na talaga ako maging American farmer with my Tiffany bling-bling plus Chanel bag divang-diva ang eksena ko dito. Matutuwa is Jessica Parker sa aura ng lola mo. Pwede na pang feature sa federation ng mga lukring.

Aside from that, I am the only human race with a brown skin and black hair here. Yes, endangered specie ang diva-ness equals ME dahil napapaligiran ako ng mga anak ni Snow white. Exotic to the maximum level. Pinag-aagawan para lang sale sa Megamall. Hehehe! The truth is, I haven’t seen my cows friends ever since we came home. Busy ang telecommunications dahil smart ang gamit nila. May traffic dahil sa snow. Hehehe! Promise! Negative weather siya everyday. Para lang pregnancy test. So, this is what they call the land of milk and honey?

So what amuse me here? The bed, HGTV and ????? (isip-isip). You can not believe how much time I spend in the bed. 18 hours a day excluding eating. Vakla, wiz mag DIY dito kasi ninigas ang fingers ng lola mo. Para lang may arthritis. Unless, butch-oy ang drama ko dito. Winner siya sa patigasan. Hahaha! Well, I can beat my pussy cats in sleeping marathon. My LIFE here depends on the weather forecast. Kailangan ko dito ang salamin ni Tito Boy Abunda. Dahil wala akong talent sa ice-skating at wiz ko macomatose with the ugly winter outfit. Eksenang “Babaeng sa Bintana” ang drama ng diva-ness dito.

My new bling-blingssssss with multiple SSS…is what keeps me grinning all the time. Yes! Pwede ako maging alajera/farmer. Multi-tasking para lang sex life ko. Hahaha! I finally got my Darna cuff which I’ve been eying since my birth, the Tiffany Notes Cuff and I got 3 new big rings as big as my eyeball and I truly love them to death. Vakla, ganun talaga ang mga diva, nagmumurang materialistic. In times like this, money can buy my happiness. At dahil sa mayabang ako, I can’t wait to go home and show my new babies.

I also did some reflections…..OMG! Parang this is it…we are going through the ice aged na. Hello, ikaw kaya maging prisoner of love dito, mapapaisip ka talaga sa life mo. Yes, I also assess my life and set my goals. Hahaha! Parang totoo noh? Pati ako napapisip kung may maligno ba dito sa USA of at parang nasasapian ako. Hehehe! Well, the truth is from time to time I analyze the things that is going through my life and the sets of goal I have. If it is realistic or I’m in a fairyland. In that way, I can prepare myself for the worst. Often, it helps me not to get broken when dreams fail. And at the same time, it alleviate me to test and push myself how far I will go to reach the climax…hahahhaha….errrr…..VISION. It’s not a crime to wish for something larger than the life….we have too…or else, we waste the talent we all have…Yes, we all do. Apparently, we’re scared to get out from our comfort zone. And believe me honey, I am guilty as you. We worry so much about failing even if we haven’t started yet. And of course, friends and family are not as supporting as you watch in the TV shows. People are usually skeptical when it comes to changes. Huwag kang plastic..bakit nung magout ka sa closet binigay ba nila agad ang corona? So, you need a lot willpower and tons of passion to go for what you really dream of….and if every thing fails…then it’s about time you move on….that ende nababagay sa iyo ang outfit ni Darna. Accept that it is ok to fail. At least you tried. And now you know….that you don’t have talent. Basta maganda ka pa rin. Ganech lang eksena mo.

Welcome 2010…may we all stay beautiful.

The Goddess

Anyways, here we go again. Counting the months…the days…another number is added in my facebook profile. I’ve been trying to convince myself  5 mins ago that there is nothing wrong of being old……….I hate the word “old” maybe matured is a better term. Am I the only one in this entire human race that have issue with aging? I see my friends and classmates in facebook seems quite comfortable of aging process. Perhaps, in denial? Or simply conscious of openly discussing this issue. Afraid to be judge as too self centered? Because there are greater and bigger things that we should have to worry about it. Tell you honey, I am not a saint neither a super hero. So, I don’t think I can do anything if the world is in global warming ok. Ang dami ko naman issues noh? Demanding na ako kay lord. Baka e FO (friendship over) nya ako.

Then, I came across of my last year Christmas blog. I wrote 34 things I am thankful of. After contemplating my life 11 months ago, nothing is extraordinary. Actually, it’s fantastic.Why? Kailangan ba magexplain sa presinto? I really have no reasons. The fact that I survive another year and still looking forward for next year is already enough. Potah! Am so plastic…ende siya funny di va? Fine, I have my own fair shares of ups and down. Ano feeling mo masyado kami close ni God? Everyday, I still struggle with my own demons and dramas. Ikaw ba naman magkaroon ng genes na ganito. Magkamag-anak kasi parenthood…kaya ang ganech…lukring ang bunga. I have so many issues with myself and people around me. Yes, I am not iron man nor heartless as you think. Plastic pa rin ni vakla….zsa…zsa…errr….not really. Sometimes, some things also hit my ego. Example 1-Vakla…bakit ang laki ng tyan mo? Are you pregnant? …Hello! Since when 98pounds becomes fat?  Example 2-Gurl, you need botox or anti-aging cream. You look like my lola. Answer: Really? So, your lola also wears 3 inches heels and skinny jeans? Example 3- Why do you have to speak english when your grammar is wrong. Answer: Vakla, bobita ka ba? Nasa ibang bansa kaya tayo. Ende tagalog ang universal language. Affected? Kasalanan ko ba kung dukha ka? English translation-I’m sorry if it bugs you. But I live in upper crust, does it count? Hahahaha! Matapobre ang lola mo di va?

What’s my point here? Well, most of us always seems to remember the bad and the ugly. The rest is no longer relevant. We linger our minds to what went wrong. Like our love affairs. We never really think of our good exes….only those who got away. Which I don’t understand. Or are human can’t simply accept the course of life…..that  haler!!!! We are not Virgin Mary, saints or the God. In short, we are bounded to make mistakes everyday of our life. As what you lolo Chuck Palahniuk  says “Your birth is a mistake you’ll spend your whole life trying to correct.” So there are more things we should be grateful of. Even with all our tragedies, the downfall of economy, the heartbreaks and pain we go through. Is it not enough that we are living, breathing and striving to master our way of existence. Ok, I get it. Easy for me to say because I am not on your shoes. Errr….because I have 160 pairs of shoes and still counting….Hehehe! Kulit ko ano. Serious na….etetch. They say that one can never really understand a person ’til you are put on his position. Yes, I agree. But you will also never see the beauty of one’s life, if you haven’t play with yourself and come 7 times. Swear! It’s amazing. Hahahaha! You see my dear friends “Life is a tragedy for those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” And you know already…not only I am beautiful but I am also smart. Hahahahaha! Kavouge si vakla. Winner! In short….why should we pay attention to our past that can not be change. When it’s done…it’s done. Magbigti ka man dyan and mangkulam ende mo na mababalik ang nakaraan ni Ate Guy and Pip. So, deal with it. I actually find it more amusing to recall all the stupid things I’ve done in the past. We exist in the present. The past is our history. And the future is our chances.

I can not promise you a beautiful life next year. Haler! I am not God. What I know though, I will have another opportunity to either correct or mess my life. I am offered with another possibility to change and fix my existence….a chance to change something for the better…or worst. I have another choice. So, go botox na etetch talaga! If I can’t have it, buy it.

Merry Christmas people!

I, the goddess of venus is extremely annoyed of how the taxi driver in Singapore are been behaving for the last 1 million years. Not only a number of them are quite rude but they are also e-pal with nagmumurang GREEDINESS. Really! My office is in River Valley, near Orchard. The paradise of the divas and the goddess–equals muah! So, I thought my life would be a lot easier since there will cab everywhere in this mother land. Apparently, they are choosy with their customer. Ano sila mga potah…namimili. Translate- even whore can not be picky of their client. And they best part between 9 to 10pm every day of God’s creation, they will just ignore you even if you flag them in the middle of the road. Gumulong ka man dyan sa putikan…deadma pa rin ang mga eksena ng pukemonster. And because its near to the clubbing area plus extra fee if you flag in the taxi stand or pay additional $3 if you call…added the avariciousness aka kaswapangan/mercenary …they will rather spend extra fuel and time crossing to that other side in the name of making extra moola. Kahit nakasampal ka na sa mukha nila. I have called a thousand times to the cab company. I will probably end up having an affair with the customer service because I stalked  and call them all the time to report this unacceptable exploitation of passenger. Of course, you think this is Singapore they will do something about it. Gurl! My veins are already coming out -NR (No reaction). Pwede na ba ako tumakbong president ng mga kavadingan? Hahaha! Pero, promise! It’s not funny when you are stading and waiting for the cabs for an hour and you see them passing through your eyes…available…yet, they ignore you as if you don’t exist. Bulag sila neng!

So, why don’t I just buy a car instead? You think I have a money tree in my backyard? I wish! Unfortunately, a car in Singapura cost 3 times than any countries of the universe. Yes! Gold price siya vakla. And not to mention….I don’t know how to drive. Which, I also keep listing in my wish list for trillion years….but never happens. Goddess are allowed to have fears and evidently…haler…I am not perfect.

At this moment, I have no solution to this biggest issue of my life. Unless, I move to another planet. Or perhaps, this is the time I can practice my hidden power—-Voodoo! Hahaha! As if I have. Maybe I do. The last time I check in past life analysis website (http://www.thebigview.com/pastlife/)… I used to be a servnat of dark forces.

Ok, fine! Here’s my past life diagnosis:

Your past life diagnosis:I don’t know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Ireland around the year 950. Your profession was that of a banker, usurer, moneylender or judge. Your brief psychological

Profile in your past life:Bohemian personality, mysterious, highly gifted, capable to understand ancient books. With a magician’s abilities, you could have been a servant of dark forces.

The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation: Your task is to learn, to love and to trust the universe. You are bound to think, study, reflect, and to develop inner wisdom.

Scary? Or kaloka? Nakakabuang na ito gurl ang mga eksena ni Kuya. Ende na sila cute. Sometimes, while waiting I just think of happy thoughts like when my last trip in Bali, Indonesia. Which by the way, is a total blast of fun and parties.

It was just a short trip, 1 day and 2 nights. Crazy? Ganun talaga ang mga rich…keber basta makapagparty. Hahaha! I needed to get out from Singapore and it’s been like 2 months I haven’t travelled anywhere. It’s about time before I go insane. And this time, I went backpacking. Ok, not literally. Just no suitcase and a knapsack. Imagine that! Not only that….from airport my friend Jan, fetched me in motorbike. Yes, korek….ende ka bulag…tama nabasa mo…I rode in the motorbike. Lost in translation?

I know it sounds no so me. But I am not getting any younger. So, I rather do things while my knees and bones can still take it. It was an overwhelming experience as you actually feel so free. Ok, not totally…my hair is a mess which bugs me once in awhile. Nevertheless, it’s easier and faster way to explore Bali especially when you don’t have enough time. The night I arrived, we went straight clubbing. We stop and dance to atleast 4 clubs in 5 hours and drink ’til you drop. Nothing can stop us from partying even the rain.

The next day, we went shopping…my favorite thing to do in my life. It so divine! I wish I could take everything. Love the power of bargaining. Then we had a body massage. It’s so f—cking amazing! Then, we had dinner in this fabulous restaurant. The ambience is so impressive and the best part….it’s so cheap. Not to mention, I’m dinning and partying with this amazing people…my new found friends. Thanks to Jan for sharing her friends with me. It was truely a great trip. Along with wonderful memories, I get to know and keep wonderful friends.

I love Bali.

See you soon!

Pero vaklush! Swear in my armpit, missing in my heart ko talaga ang pang-ookray. It’s been a long time. But you have to understand powerful na si mader. Ika nga ni Spiderman…with great powers comes a great responsibilities. Malaki na ang sari-sari store. So, nakabusiness class na. Kaya, wiz ang lola mo makapagokray sa mga volvo nakapaligid at baka makarating sa highest level. Kahit everyday nosebleed pa rin ako  ako sa taxi driver. Promise! Kung di feeling chimay nila ako…even with may diva outfit, they thought I’m their best friend. Juice ko! Marami na akong best friends sa mundo…umaapaw na…so please…I don’t need to know their lifestory and or what’s happening in Washington DC. Keber ko…e kung si Gloria…ang taging pakialam ko lang e nagpaboob job siya…hehehehe!

But since I donate most of my money to the goddess LV. Actually, change costume again…Kabog na si Chanel. So, mega pokpok na talaga ako work. Para may super power magshopping. We have to age gracefully…you know that. Which means, highest divaness na talaga…kahit it’s so lonely up there. Hahahaha! Oh my gulay! Para lang talaga akong Dyosa. Kainis! So, by the time I turn 40. Scene 1-while going to palengke…naka Hermes….Birkin. Taray! Scene 2-Scott says to me…”You need a richer husband”. Hahaha!  Actually, not a bad idea. Scene 3-Spouse support. Scene 4-Robot gurl na ako (botox in every angle). Attention please! NakaTamiflu pa ako kaya windang ang brains ng lola mo. Hahaha!

Seriousness na etetch…the only thing that left me sane this past few months is my sense of humour…errr…Actually, feeling ko nga kahit sense of humour unti-unting natutunaw. Parang yelo lang sa Antarctica. Global warning ba etetch? My friends has been complaining how my whole lifestyle change. I know, I need to do something about it. Ende mura magpaCalayan noh! By the way, ende na ako Belo girl….nagmove on na ang lola. Calayan na ako kasi mas love nila ako. I haven’t done my botox yet (take note!). Supposedly, my plan is to do it when I went home last September. Apparently, my schedule is so hectic that I only manage to remove my warts. Gurl, ende ko na realize, buong angkan na pala ang nasa face ng lola mo. Gumawa na sila ng village sa face ko. Kaya, etetch, eskinol gurl na ulit ako. Next year, go na talaga. Yes, I am vain. But if you can afford. Goooooooooo! And you don’t have to apologize for that. Kasalanan ko ba kung ende na ako dukha? Hahaha!

Anyways, my dear friends, I’m served a 5 days isolation.  I sounds like a criminal! Hahaha! Yes! You heard in right..my beautiful face is in quarantine. Parang isang eksena lang sa movie..Panic Room…you and me…and the wall…di ba? Ding-ding lang ang pagitan. I was tested positive of Influenza type A last Monday. Sa mahirap, trangkaso, pag mayaman influenza. Suplada di ba? ITS NOT H1N1. Ok, they are same family…like gay sisters….one is femme and the other one is butch. But not the same. Masyadong mahabang eksena etetch…kailangan ka bang explain? But people are driving me nutz, when they keep insisting I have H1n1. Kaloka di ba? I’m on the spotlight again….Yes! It’s all about me…me…me….Bida naman ang lola mo. Pero, I swear for split second…I was scared when they told me I was positive. Feeling ko…kukunin na talaga ako ni lord. I know…for the longest time, I’ve been taken for granted my health. People like me don’t get sick…they just take a break and party again. But not this time honey…kakaibang eksena na talaga etetch. Saka, isampal ba naman sa you….quarantine ka vakla….5 days….end of the world the talaga ito sistah.

Then, I thought about my 2 pussy cats, ang mga sho-es, esp my LV collection….Juice ko! Ang mga diamonds….Ende ko pa nabili si Hermes. Tama ba na tawagin na ako? I don’t worry so much about Scott, he can always go to Thailand and find another wife. Saka, my greatest fear…ayokong mamatay na fangit ang outfit ng lola mo at wiz naka make up. Sakit-sakitan talaga ang drama. Pero, truelish, akala ko maMediacorp TV na talaga ako…first Filipina….the Goddess….with h_n_…Ang chakaness ng title.

My first few days of house arrest….vaklush, eksenang prison break talaga. At first,in denial ang vakla. I never imagine myself to be quarantine. It only happens to poor people who eat dirty food. Ganech ang eksena ko. I even bring my own chopsticks and own meals kasi feeling ko dirty sila. Pati coke, may sarili akong dala…but you know, the germs….they dont’s have brains…they will just secretly sneak to your system kahit ende sila welcome. Kainis di ba? Then comes the blame…which I have to admit, if only I pay more attention to my health, this would have been avoided. Kaso, feeling Darna rin…sige…yosi ng yosi hanggang maubos na ang baga. So, I pledge..I will quit smoking (’til further notice). It’s not yet the end of the world. I know, its hard to believe especially coming from me. E ikaw kaya vaklush, na halos mabiyak na yong tahi ko sa kakaubo-…isusumpa mo talaga lahat. I’ve never felt this so much pain and agony.

LESSON: Life is a short affair so we have to breath as if it is last day. I probably made a lot of  mistakes, bloopers, some may say foolish and idiotic choices in my life. But I only blame myself for the consequence of my own actions.  Regrets is not in my vocabulary because I really get amuse of it anyway. Whether people agree of how I live my shallow life…..I don’t really care at all. Haler….life is not made to be perfect. So, why should I want to? I believe money can buy happiness. I didn’t say it’s everything but it does a lot of wonder for all of us even for a brief moment. I believe that it is ok to be selfish and to love yourself more….who can love you if you don’t even love yourself???. And there is nothing to be ashamed of…if you are not a perfect human being. Embrace yourself honey…because when you die…you die alone…and you don’t want people to remember you how unhappy and bitter you are with your life. So despite of what happened and the dramas….I wasn’t really scared of anything….because I live my life according to my choices. Experience is the name that everyone gives when we make mistakes. And if you always want everything so right and perfect….you will never able to do anything and get entertained the dramas of our so called “EXISTENCE”…so go…live like a DIVA!

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”- William Jennings Bryan

Keri over! Back to the palengke outfit. The question is…..Why! I have to be fabulous all the time? Because if you wear ugly outfit….it only show how you define yourself and life. Hint…hint! I don’t mean to offend people. As if I care…hahaha! But it really bugs when people go holiday and take a picture with their hawaiin/floral outfit or worst pambahay outfit. Meaning, fit to wear only inside your own home. Gets mo? My gaz! What the hell are you thinking? Really! Oh! Don’t hate me.Haler, people wake up! It’s really pucking repulsive! I know your on holiday but at least make an effort to wear something nice because these are the pictures you will keep forever and you will show to your friends or even enemies, children and grandchildren. And everyone will remember, that frightening outfit you wear when you went to Alaska. Imagine that! I admit,  have my own fair share of fashion disaster but these are the pictures you never showed in public. Fine, only shallow people like me will see that beauty is important. Wake up! People will always judge you the way you look. Whether, you admit it or not, but it does it get you. Especially, when you are never been ask for a date. Ok fine, you want to be a virgin ’til you die. Blah…blah….blah…Please spare me! Stop lying yourself. Of course, you want to feel beautiful and you want people to notice you. So, people in the universe, make an effort to look nice. If you can devote your time looking like a frog, I’m sure you can also commit some time looking like you belong to planet earth. E gusto mo pala mag ganyan outfit, di sana ende ka na umalis ng bahay. Di ba? Oh my gosh! I can feel a lot of people will despise me. Especially, my dear…dear…sister Rona, I bring peace! Hahaha! Tama ba isali ko siya sa blog. Love you sis!

Anyway, the last few months my life was so absolutely divine. Correct, the yaya went for holiday. Binigyan ako bonus ni sir. Hehehe! Kasi total performance daw ako. Most of you think that I don’t have a life outside my mansion. I also travel, like every diva should be. Minus the private plane. Only budget airlines. Which is totally so unglamorous. Oo na, isa akong japakeng diva. Hahaha!

I actually don’t know where to start my story because all our trips was really amazing. It’s been like 4 months I haven’t traveled anywhere. So, para akong ibon adarna na nakawala. You have no idea how it feels to be stuck in this tiny island. Nakakabuang siya promise! My husband thinks I need to be confine in the mental institution na. Hahaha! But that would cost us a lot of money. I was really freaking bored! The cleaning and mopping doesn’t excite me anymore. Can you believe that? I can’t think of any ways to rearrange our furnitures. That’s scary you know! I was in the midst of going insane….literally! So, he has no choice but to tag me along.

Anyways, we went to Hanoi (Vietnam) first which is one of my favorite place.It’s such a wonderful experience to back there again. Oh! I missed so much the spring rolls that every day, I would have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The food is almost similar like Filipino cuisine so there is no major adjustment on my diet. Yeah right, since when I have that word in my vocabulary. That’s so foreign for me. The shopping was insane. Of course, you should know all the tricks of bargaining. Which is my special talent. Don’t ever…ever show any emotion when you are buying. Pretend you don’t like it so that you will get a good deal. Start with 70% off when you haggle with the price. Now, you understand why I am mentally drained? I usually shop in Dong Xuan Market. They also have a late night market at that same place every thurs. I also go to the Old Quarter, 900m north of the Hoan Kiem Lake. It’s quite near to Dong Xuan Market too. I didn’t really do much siteseeing. Surprise…surprise! Hello! You are talking to the goddess…since when shopping became the least priority? And because I am so greedy and want everything at once. Imagine me….carrying 2 lamps (half my height), 1 big buddha head (4 kilos) and 5 shopping bags while strolling in the park and taking some pictures. Kaloka di ba? Yan napapala ng mga swapang…kaya ang mga fengers nawalan ng ata ng malay for few days.

Ok, lets not talk about the hotel where we stay because it’s still freaking me out. SERIOUSLY! As in camping talaga ang drama. Feeling ko talaga ala Six Sense ang maging eksena ko dun or Exorcist. Hahaha! Ok, tight budget sila so ende pwede maginarte mala ala-Gretta ang lola mo. Kaya hayon, full time career ang paging dukha. How I survived? Let’s just put this way, I refused to used the blankets. Luckly, I have my shawl and jacket. Di ba? Outfit pa rin kahit nakapantulog. Winter collection pa.

Next pit stop, Bangkok. After 5 days in Hanoi, we flew to Singapore for 2 days and 1 night. It’s great to see my cats and our house again. Though, it’s killing me that I don’t have enough time to redecorate….and of course, being such a slave to my dickhead husband, I stayed all night doing the laundry and yes ironing. Ako ang totoong asawa ni iron man. Hahaha! Alila talaga ang eksena. So truelish, I flew in Bangkok with my eyebugs on and in a budget airlines. I feel so poor. And imagine this… I waited for hubby in Bangkok airport for 4hours. I look like She-man. Promise! Fangit to the max level ang aura ng lola mo. Gusto ko na mag ala-ninja kid sa inis. But after reaching our hotel….I forget all about it. We stayed Holiday Inn at Silom and it’s newly renovated. Yes! I’m back to business again! I can walk in the carpet with my barefoot without feeling creepy, sleep nicely in my beautiful bed and have a great breakfast with a view. What else can I ask for? Feeling rich di ba? Hahaha! My friend Marianne happens to be there too. So, we decided to do ALOT of  shopping and eating, and shopping and eating again. Then we went to Pattaya for 2 days and 1 night. Ganun talaga mga anak mayaman, nagtatapon ng pera. Kainis di ba? Hehehe!

While in Pattaya, we just stayed mostly in the pool of our  hotel. The sand is dirty in the beach and we can’t mix with the poor people…you know that. Hahaha! Bitch! It’s too crowded and it’s not so fantastic as what we thought. Anyway, we had fun in the pool. I didn’t really swim… I hang out in the kids pool. Fine! Happy now. Yes, I know, I need to learn how to swim. But everytime I tried, I just freak out. Don’t you think I tried my best…hello! Good thing my Belo boobs keep me balance or I will just sunk in the pool. We walked around the area and I’m so amazed with the girls. They came in all shape and forms.

Then after Bangkok, I stayed for few days in Singapore and I went travel with my friend in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. Erwin, is my Indonesian friend who is gracious enough to invite me in his beautiful country. He was my very first friend here in Singapore. We used to work together and shared so many good and bad memories working with such an adorable boss. Hahaha! Gosh! I feel so sick saying this. And thanks to facebook, we get reconnected again. I wasn’t expecting any spectacular things to see in Yogyakarta. Of course, I don’t check our itinerary. Duh! It’s me Ria. It’s not part of my system. I just thought, I’m going there for shopping. Hehehe! Instead, I saw a different planet. Really, really beautiful. I have no words to describe it but I am really so amazed. We went to see the  Borobudur Temple. It’s the biggest Buddhist Temple in the Ninth Century. For those who doesn’t know the history. I was so blowned away with its beauty and architecture. I felt I was walking into a different period of time.

Then we also visited Merapi Volcano, Sendang Sono (Lourdes in Indonesia), and Dieng Plateau (Wonosobo, Central Java of Indonesia). Merapi Volcano is one of the world’s most active and dangerous volcanoes. It just erupted in 2007 like 2 years ago. What the hell I was doing there? I also don’t know. The local people there are exteremely nice. I swear! It was a long drive and for some reason I always need to pee….and the locals are so accommodating let me used their toilet even if I am stranger . Can you believe that?

Sendang Sono is believe to be the Lourdes in Indonesia. It was believe that in this area, The Virgin Mary appeared. I know, I am the least person you can imagine to be going there. I also get scared of myself! But for some reason, the place really makes me feel so holy. Scary right? Yes, I’m still a catholic. Although not practicing but deep down I have a very strong faith. How do you think I survive in this crazy world?

Dieng Plateau was such an extremely impressive place. I was really blown away. I actually seen a lava from a volcano. Not from a distance but up close and personal. I feel so strange being surrounded with such an exquisite landscape that I never imagine myself being actually there. Only the shopping can give me this kind of excitement. And it’s actually good that once in awhile I get to do this. Although, it’s like 8 hrs drive from Yogyakarta. I don’t find it boring. Every place we pass by is so amazing that you begin to be thankful that you exist in this beautiful world.

I was only there in Yogyakarta for 5 days so it seems not really enough. Like having sex and not cumming….hehehehe! Thats painful you know! I hope I will really get another chance to go there again because it seems there are so much more to see.

Then, my lover/hubby and I also celebrated our 5th year wedding anniversary last May. You read it right 5th year.  Can you believe that I am capable of maintaining a relationship? Also, he turned 40 and muah 35, the same month with our wedding anniversary. But we opted of celebrating it in Bangkok instead for one week. And this time, I flew in style. Singapore Airlines! It was a hell a lot of FUN! On my birthday, we went to this seafood restaurant and the crabs are really huge. Bigger than my boobs. Promise! Then, on his birthday, we went to this French restaurant which is absolutely divine! Food was so fantastic that you know, for split second it brings you to a different level in the universe. We had Champagne and eat like there is no tomorrow. Then every other day, I pampered myself with full body massage. Shopping can get you stress too. Really, I feel it’s one of the best birthdays we ever had. Pure pleasure! Sometimes, it’s scary to think that life is so perfect!  Why should I feel guilty of being happy? Happiness is a state of mind. We make our own life. it doesn’t matter what life you have…what matters is the choice you are making. Life will never be perfect, it’s up to you how you will make your life perfect. Amen!

The Goddess

Anyhow, I just turned 35 this month. Oh my gaz! Tama bang ipagsigawan pa sa madlang human race that I’m this young. Haler! I am not yet like middle age woman noh. Besides, if you have this kind of face and so utterly fabulous ipagmamalaki mo talaga! Hahaha! Oh! I love my powers….para lang siyang kili-kili ng mga anaps. Careful-careful, baka mabitay ang beauty ko dito. O zsa…zsa. aminin ko nan…magpapakatotoo na ako friend. The truth is, there are days (like everyday), I panicked because I see few lines here and there. Promise! I checked my face every 4 hrs. The wrinkles is driving me nuts. I’ve put all the miracle creams in the world….from eye cream to anti-aging kulang na lang pati Hemorrhoid Cream ikareer ko na. Oo, nagpapanick ako. Bakit ende…I can’t deny anymore that I am aging…..Shet!!!! Tama ba “aging” talaga ang term. My no. 1 hobby right now is to mega checklist every part of my beautiful body…. if my tights are starting to sag, if I’m starting to have Turkey Gobbler Deformity or if my hands are starting to get dry and disgusting. Di ba they said“With age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes wrinkles.” So drama, right? Still I don’t want to age horribly. Sa mga dukha lang yan nababagay. Hahaha! Seriously! It’s a very strange feeling knowing you are no longer that young. I do get that age is just a number. Wow! I sound such a loser. Mga speech lang yan ng mga pangit. Hahaha! Nevertheless, I don’t need that number to show all over my face. Yes, I am vain. It’s not even a question. Then again, just because I’m aging…gosh….that’s a scary term, it’s a crime to be overly obsessed with yourself. Fine! Not everyone live in my world. Ayaw ko sa maputik na world noh! And most people…like “normal” mankind thinks my problem is so pathetic. I’m just being true friend. Lahat naman tayo have issues with aging. We just don’t want to express it. Kasi, parang sa mga vovito lang yan ang pagiging vain. Pagmatalino, ende mo kailangan ng face value. Planet earth, are you still there?

And here’s what I don’t follow. When people stop taking care of themselves, they wonder and get confuse why in the hell their life is so plain. Gurl, hiramin mo ang mahiwang salamin ni Tito Boy ok! Titigan mo mabuti ang iyong face. Ende ka ba natatakot? Then you get offended if people commented how fat and unfabulous you look. Truth hurts friend! To add insult to injury, you find some of your friends and especially your enemies still  look so gorgeous. While you look like a mader with 12 gay kids. Chackaness talaga! You resent tthem di ba? Aminin! Lalo the feeling that ugliness is all over your face. So  mega isip-isip ka….Conclusion: My gaz!They have such a pathetic life. Because all they care is being BEAUTIFUL. Sometimes, you even come up with a good story…like oh my gulay! I’m sure may Eskabeche yan a.k.a kabit/lover or hmnnn…..sugar daddy. If none of the above seems visible, the famous line….she is a bimbo anyway. So what? At least, they look stunning. Nakakamatay talaga ang inggit. I wish I have 4 sugar dadi/mami. Hahaha! You want to believe, they are the most selfish and egocentric specie in this planet. The truth is, a part of you wanted to be one of them….you want to be that fabulous. But often times, we are terrified of getting a bad impression as if naman mga hollywood stars tayo noh. It’s  common for most people to be afraid of being judge wrongly. We always want to present ourselves that looks doesn’t really matter. What is important is the heart. Nyeta! Ende ikaw candidate ng Miss Earth. So, huwag kang plastikada!

Oh well! That’s one thing I love about my life. I don’t go out and impress people. So, I am allowed to say anything I want, sometimes even stupid stuff that I end up like..Oh shit! What the hell I was thinking….Hehehe! Pero, dahil cute nga ako. Kaya keri over na lang.

Anyway, I have so many great ideas to write but my tiny, teeny-weeny brains got confuse along the way. So, the ending, my cerebral matter just refused to come up with any stories of my life. It’s not that my fabulous life suddenly died…Oh my gosh!!!! That’s soooooo scary to even think about it. This is the cause and effect of too much holiday and traveling. Naubos ang brainpower sa kakabargain. Mahirap kaya magmultiply noh!?

Instead, I’ve come up with ” My 35 Top Secrets.” As if people really care, right? It’s time to reveal some of my top secrets in life, sex, shopping, love, beauty and friendship. Please take note, I write SOME. If you knew more, don’t react muna ha…hehehehe! That’s is why nga I only put some. Ano ba? If I put everything then I don’t have secret na. Nagpromil ka ba? Bakit ende ka smart?

1. When I was single and not so single, I’m usually the one who initiate for a “date.” (as if) Not because nobody ask me…Haler! Are you blindness?  But I’m impatient and I rather have that power to say when and where to see you. My favorite line…don’t call me..I’ll call you. Winner yan!
2. My favorite underwear is red, and I love the most the one with the print that say “Be my Valentine” in my butt. I hate thongs or g-string. Don’t like the feeling of having in between my ass. Feeling ko may popoh sa pwet ko. Promise! I prefer boyshorts, hiphuggers and my all time favorite, grandma cut.
3. I love, love wearing corset now because it flattens my best feature—the mahiwagang tummy. Hahaha! My dickhead hubby/lover won’t allow me to get a liposuction. Like NEVER! Because he saw me suffered when I did my boob job. Yes! I had my boobs done and everyone in the entire universe knew about it. Unless you didn’t read Elle magazines. Correct! Your friend is a mediacorp artista!!! If you don’t have it, buy it. Ganun lang talaga mga speech ng mayaman.
4. Being obsessive compulsive is not something I really enjoyed. Not only it affects a part of me but my entire life. Especially when the house is not clean and organize according to my own definition. Not the normal people definition of cleanliness. I can’t sleep or function when I see the house not perfectly aligned to my universe.
5. If I have I choice, I would rather bring my own spoon, fork towels, bed covers and pillow when I traveled. It bothers me a lot thinking who was the last person that used all these stuff in the hotel or restaurant. Oo na! Mentally challenge talaga ito.
6. I hate…hate…when people tried to fit my shoes. I may have probably 150 pairs of shoes but it’s not for public use. You can admire it from a distant but NEVER…EVER try my shoes. That’s end of our friendship.
7. I’m a bargain hunter. I would never buy anything more than $10. After discovering outlet malls in US and Melbourne. I feel so complete!
8. I’m obsessed with LV’s especially the Epi leather and this my savings account. If I die, they should be buried with me or else I will hunt Scott forever.
9. I permed my hair every 6 mos. So, it’s not all-natural. Weavy, yes! I wish I had straight here before. However, it’s too high maintenance. I’m too lazy to comb.
10. I used at least 5 kinds foundation and different brand. I discovered that our face skin tone change from time to time.
11. I “really” hate it when people expect that I pay for them. Hello! I’m not Santa Claus. I worked hard for my money. Ikaw kaya mag potah buong gabi, tingnan ko lang kung ende ka magnosebleed.“In times of prosperity friends will be plenty; in time of adversity not one in twenty.” — English Proverb
12. I was a virgin ’til 21.
13. But I still find women more attractive than men.
14. Although, I’m thinking of having Botox when I turn 40. On the other hand, I don’t think I can wait any longer.
15. I think sex all the time…hahaha! As if it’s a secret. And I love to watch porn movies. Only Femme to femme.
16. My greatest fantasy is to make out in public….Done! Hahaha!
17. I don’t like foreplay. It just bores me to death.
18. Although, my dream is to be a interior designer. However, I always wish I could be a social worker. If only I can wear my fabulous outfit. Ya! You read it right. Social worker! Surprisingly, I have a heart too.
19. People think I am high maintenance but I feel I am not. Really! I just love beautiful things. Besides, I worked hard for my money and I will spend it the way I want because I know I will never have kids. Why do you want to settle for anything less?
20. I don’t want kids! Period! I don’t understand why some people insist that I will only feel complete if I have one. It really, really bugs me. What makes you think I am not happy? We don’t even live in the same house. And if Scott leaves me, it’s still alright because I get half of everything and don’t have to share with a freaking child.
21. I love to travel with Scott because I get to do whatever I want. Like sleep the entire day and do nothing. Without feeling guilty that I wasted my holiday.
22. Work is my life. On the contrary, I am also lazy. My favorite pastime = building castle in the air! I can stay all week in the house and not go anywhere. I am still fine. It doesn’t really drive me nuts unless there is a biggest sale going on. I can survive as long as there is Monk, Law and Order, Dress my nest or Crime and Investigation on the TV.  And most importantly, Facebook and YM.
23. Right now, I’m addicted playing with Bejeweled Blitz in Facebook. Like that’s what I do all day.
24. I’m a jealous type of person but once you get my trust. It’s 100%. I won’t ask if I am not ready to hear the truth.
25. Most people who doesn’t know me seems to think I married my lover boy because he is so rich. I wish. Hahaha! I know he is financially stable….hmnnn that time…hehehehe! Why would I marry someone who can not afford me? It’s not a crime to be practical. If I am ugly, you think my hubby will marry me?
26. I believe men and women should have equal rights. But I don’t agree that I should be the bread winner. I believe men should be the provider. And I get to choose how I am suppose to spend my own money.
27. Some people find it hard to give me a present because they think I have everything. Actually, I don’t really care. I don’t put a  price for the effort. Even just a candle, I’m already happy. And I will forever treasured it. Besides you are not Scott. Hahaha!
28. The most unforgettable moment I have, is when Scott bought me a 21 pairs of shoes. It was amazing. I didn’t cry when he proposed. But I cried when I got all these shoes.
29. I’m always fascinated with smart people.
30. I know how to amuse myself and it’s the best thing I’ve ever learned in life.
31. I don’t like people seeing me cry because it makes me feel weak.
32. I do sing karoake (ALONE) and my favorite song is Midnight Blue and Love me Tender. I wished I could sing it with Michael Johns. Hahaha! Promise!
33. I hate, hate crocs and people who designed it should be crucified.
34. Honestly, I still wonder why people come and ask me for advise. Maybe because I’m brutally honest with them or I am always available. Either way, I’m really happy to share my thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t bugs me if you don’t agree with it. Unless you keep insisting your so incredibly gorgeous even if you are the perfect example of all the Chakaness (ugliness) in the world that both sexes finds you sexually unattractive.
35. It’s not everyday I am confident. Especially, when rude people make an insensitive comment. It’s ok if they gorgeous. My gosh! They have horrible feet. Hehehe! Here’s what I always tell myself…I’m fabulous! Never allow anybody to hurt or break your spirit unless you let them. Remember always…ilagagay mo dyan sa gitna ng mammary gland mo peke man or ende…“You have to believe in yourself.”

*Bow*

I love…love to bitch especially those commoners who broke my friends heart. If only I can voodoo all of them. Hahaha! Pwede siyang scene sa Exorcist. Rarely it happens that I will like and love my friends partner. I know, I sucked in choosing friends here in Singapore. By the way, that was before. But I’m so darn good smelling a nobody. Hmnnn…Well, I must admit there are times I made “some” mistakes. Haler! I don’t have my complete superpower yet OK. Nevertheless, most of the time, my super power is correct.

Feel ko, you are waiting for my line of how to survive a bad break up? What do you think of me your personal therapist? Hahaha! Honestly, I don’t know the best way to deal with it. I’ve been through a lot of bad break-ups. Believe me, I went to super televisual scene, begging and asking that person to love me. Hahaha! Hello! Do you think with my  fabulousity with capital Narcissism , I will do that? Slight lang gurl. Magpaka Plastic ba ate. But not so over ’til nakakawalan na ng poise! Unless, I’m having a bed scene and in mega release the power na ang lola. That I will beg not to stop. Otherwise, I believe love and relationship is a CHOICE. It’s not fate that make us feel what we feel. Yes! There are circumstance that your star is align in your universe. What universe? Ask mo si lola Auring. So, you end up with that person. However, we make our own destiny. We decide how we want to exist in this beautiful world. Di ba?

Breaking up is not always easy. Nakaka wrinkles siya as a matter of fact. Let’s face it… in reality, we actually feel relieve when the relationship ends. Huwag kang plastic! Aminin!? We’re just afraid to admit it. Because its easier to move on when you are not responsible of the failure. I mean seriously, if you wanted to make it work. You should have strive harder to make the romance stay as exciting as possible. But then that’s human nature. After all the kilig factor and the passion, our life becomes monotonous and dry. We tend to take for granted the other aspects why we fell in-love in the first place. Meaning, a part you may want to end it as well. It just happen too soon. Naunahan ka lang. Kasi ende na rin siya nag mega effort. Wala lang, parang tambay na lang siya sa kanto. Ganun!

Don’t get mad friend! I am not blaming you of the collapse of your love team ok. I know, it hurts like hell knowing after all the sacrifices, the planning of the future (if there’s any?), with the pledging of love in front of all the gods and the goddess, along with beautiful dreams you have for each other. It’s really a major effort and energy to make your life as normal as possible. Because no man is an island. We need a partner to validate our existence. That we are capable of loving and be love by another specie. Whether, its a human or any kind of creature.

However, come to think of it. You really haven’t lost anything. In fact, you have gained something more powerful. It’s like a rebirth. The old You is dying, and the new You is being born. Now, you can start planning your (not “WE”) own life and make your own eksena (scene) in the stage. Without getting worried that you’re being selfish for stealing the limelight. Ikaw na kaya maging star. Kakatense! Now, you understand my life? hahaha! Yet, I’m sure one of the best time in your life is when you are not committed to anybody. Do you remember how much power and confidence you have? How great it was because there are so many possibilities?

Ok here’s the few tips I can share with you.

First and foremost, you should get a new look, like hello a new hair cut. Really! That way, you see yourself differently. Pamper yourself. You have cried over a week or so. That’s enough. Ende ikaw totoong dramatic actress noh. Tama na inarte. Nanalo ka sa sa Oscar. Why mourn for someone who doesn’t even care about you. Yeah…yeah….keep giving excuses. He didn’t even bother to give you a strong and solid reason. Only, now it’s all your fault. As if you are alone in the relationship, right? E, baka naman kasi guni-guni mo lang talaga may dyowa ka. Para lang ende ka magmukhang loner sa mundo at masabi may nagmamahal sa yo. Hehehehe! Alam mo friend, the truth is, it’s all about the affair. Unless, it’s about religion. That one is hard to argue. Ikaw nga makipagtalo sa Diyos kungdi ka mawala sa mundo…di ba? Physical and verbal abuse. Do I need to explain further? Why stay with someone who thinks you are punching bag? That’s why you are called a human being …not a thing…ok!

I am not an expert of love and relationship but please we all know, when someone walk away from us without a logical explanation. Affair is always the cause. Kaya nga nagmamalaki na lumayas. Truth hurts but your instinct says so. In denial ka lang kasi e. Kaya tama na ang pagiging dakila at feeling mo bayani pa siya kasi iniwan kanya. There is no point of devoting your undivided attention just thinking about this person. Meaning, you don’t tell the entire universe and especially yourself how great that person is. Parang hello…di ikaw naman yong loser. Instead focus on how great you are and always…always remember…itattoo mo yan sa noo mo…that it’s his lost not yours. That, you are so divine and it’s good thing you are no longer with this person. I know, it sounds like me…hehehe! But if you don’t love yourself…who else? Nanay mo? Syempre wala na siyang choice noh. As I said, it’s not a crime to love yourself. Sometimes, when we forget who we are, we became less exciting.

Go out…have fun…flirt with people (WARNING mean humans..not UGLY and poor creature) Hahahaha!, spend time with family and friends because I am sure, you seldom give time to them when you are in a relationship. It’s great to recall all the funny incidents you once shared. Remember, you are now in control of your life.  So, try all the things that you wish you have done before you met your ex. Like buy a Chanel, LV and diamonds….if you have no money…then dress as a slut. Who knows, you might get a sugar daddy…like me…hahahaha! (Thanks Fafa Scott). Or the best get a Fuck Buddy. No dates, no emotional bonding, no responsibilities…just pure pleasure.

And lastly, never…ever show your ex that you look like pathetic and so unglamorous. Keep in mind that you need to project a lasting impression. If you look dirty and hideous, you just reaffirm that you are not worth keeping. Being gorgeous does not mean you have to wear all the expensive brands from head to toe with matching plastic surgery…although it helps….hehehehehe! But by embracing who are and accepting who you are not is the simplest way of staying fabulous. We live in an imperfect world. Same as our general appearance. Others get so lucky that they have this wonderful features…hmnnn…like me. What can I do? I have Spanish blood. Hahaha! You see, dahlin’…it’s all just the attitude. We all have charms. You have to work with what your parents gave you…a special genes. Confidence is something you can not buy or borrow.So, believe of who you are!

“To live you have to experiment, to have the ability to experiment you have to have confidence, to have confidence you have to be loved, to be loved you have to love”

Brought to you by the goddess. Bow!

On the contrary, I really have compassion for these people. I respect the kind of job they do. However, after this unfortunate circumstances, I just don’t trust the Filipino maids. I don’t think they have a freaking clue why they are working here. You trusted and treated them like your family. Because for one, they are also so called “human” and we both came from the same country. It doesn’t make me rich if I treated them less. They say, you have to go down to their level. To be able to understand where they coming from. Hello!!! Why do we have to make all the necessary adjustment just to suit their needs? It’s not our fault if they work in this kind of line. Sabi nga ni Gretta….” You can not fault me for being rich” Hahahahah…Bitch! Most of us and I am myself is working hard for my employers. Making sure I am worth every cent. Then the best part is using religion as an excuse. That we should be forgiving. Kaya nga ako naging tao na nakatung-tong sa lupa ende dyosa na sa langit. Feeling powerful ang mga potah!

From the bottom of Belo twins, I do get it that it’s not easy working in another country. And not being surrounded by your love ones is not an easy challenge. Like them and the rest of the new heroes of Pilipinas, we also have no choice. With the economic situation in our country, there’s no way you are gonna survive with an income just enough to feed yourself. Unless, you are born with silver spoon with matching 1 carat diamond. Talo mo pa nyan si Gretta. Go lang! It’s true, there is no place like home. We all longed to be in with own people, friends and family, in familiar environment.

Working away from our comfort zone, surrounded with strangers who came from a all walks of life with different background and culture with diverse sense of smell and taste. Hahahaha! (Hint..hint…who are they?). It’s not easy! Unless you are a robot, walang pakiramdam. Nakabotox ang puso. Sometimes these people are nice, but most of the time they bullies and rude.Well, in fairness, it surely depends from what grounds you are standing.  It’s like the combination of all evilness in animal kingdom. They seems to assume your an unknown specie with distinct feature that don’t deserve to be treated as human beings. You try to comprehend in every part of your brain cell that maybe its the way they are being civilize in their own planet. Perhaps, there is not really a universal knowledge of how to treat a homo sapiens, or in other term “human beings”. They must have not learn from their galaxy that man and animals have different definition. O diva! So deep like “Mariana Trench” (Deepest part of the earth’s oceans and location of the earth itself). Ende nyo alam yan? Kasi ganun talaga ang mga mayayaman, matalino. Kasi may pambili ng gatas. Hahahahaha!

They say Filipinos can adopt anywhere. I agree! Because we have too. We can’t be diva-divahan because every cent equals to how many pesos. Beneath this fame of being able to work abroad (which is not for everyone) is a constant struggle of keeping your sanity in proper order. Ende siya pwede maging out of order. Wala tayong karapatan nun. We can’t even think of being depress. It’s only invented for upper class breed. So, kung negra ka with matching big nose. Huwag ka ng umeksena, dahil ende pang showbiz…Hehehe! And don’t even consider the Filipino race will sympathize with you. Ano ka hollywood star? Swerte na nga nabuhay ka sa mundo e. Magiinarte ka pa dyan.

Yes, we Filipinos are one of those original casting of Iron Man…iron gays for my flower gurls. I agree! All mankind wear a certain mask in different level in able to fight the dark forces. Huwag kang orocan. Don’t give me that bullshit thingy that you are who you are even without make-up. We hinder ourselves from showing any signs of weakness. Because that’s the only way we can protect our power from being taken advantage. However, I also agree that there are days, you just wanna use toner and moisturizer. So, you open a little bit of your soul to people, who you think you can trust. Ende naman pwede dal-dala mo parati ang iyong LV mask, right? Mabigat siya? Saka kailangan careful ka sa leather. Para kang nagtapon ng baba na sa cuarenta y cinco milyones. Charing!

With our super project-ion to our immediate and extended family, friends back home, and all the neighboring  streets and houses. Being an actor is not easy. Aside from the glamor and prestige. O di ba, Mediacorp artiste talaga! We have to make them believe that we live in the fantasy land. Where we have our dollar tree in the backyard. Para lang apple. Ganun! Walang ka effort-effort kumita ng dollars. Pinamimigay mo pa nga. Soy rico! (I am rich) Taray! Kailangan espanyola talaga. Hahahaha! They just don’t know, halos nosebleed ka sa pagiging alipin. If average people work 8 hrs. You work 18 hrs. While others having fun on friday nite and getting drunk, you are still working ’til weekends. Buti pa nga katulong ko, may day off. Ikaw wala. Mas winner sila di va? You can’t even discuss these things with your family. Because you don’t want them to worry. Plus, the joy you see in their face when they get their balikbayan box and Benjamins (US$100 of dollars with capital D). Para lang siyang Mastercard ad…There are some things money can’t buy…..Priceless! Saka, you can’t let anybody know because you know naman the face value. Ende ka pwede manghina at uwi ka na lang kasi maokray ka ng lahat pati tindera dyan sa kabilang kanto. The amount of pressure of staying beautiful is so powerful that regardless of how you feel. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s important you earn dollars.

There are only few people who honestly admitted the kind of phase I am going through everyday. I thought baka ending ko sa mental hospital na. Para akong laging mentally challenge. Of course, who does want to discuss the bad times. We always want to tell beautiful stories of our life. It’s hard to admit even to ourselves that we went through this shit! Kulang na lang pati pwet ni Darna hugasan mo. Ende ko na rin maalala kung ilang beses tumulo ang sipon ko at mag mega eksena na “Babanggon ako at dudurugin kita”…taray di ba? Dahil feeling ko masyado na akong alipin. There are so many times, I wanted to slapped the taxi driver with my LV bag because he refused to pull over inside our garage so that it’s easy for me to take out my groceries…his reply is…it’s my job since I am the maid anyway. Or a previous co-worker would questioned me whether I’m really wearing a true bvlgari watch because I am from Philppines and there’s a lot of fake stuff there. Haler! It’s only my boobs thats are fake but not my diamonds and tiffany. Or pretend that you understant their accent even if you have no freaking idea what language they are talking about. Merely for the sake of being part of their circle of life. And no matter how much you explained to them, that they should respect our culture and being rude is totally not acceptable. Yet, they don’t get it! That they should be positive of LIFE because there are bigger things we should be thankful for. And it’s never cute to forever whine about little things that is not even a national disaster because we don’t live in a perfect world. And lastly to be beautiful, you don’t have to be freaking skinny and wear the same clothes like everyone else because you define your own beauty.

Yon lang…brought to you by spanish blood tisay! hahahaha!

I’m usually a happy person, or at least I tried too. However, for the last couple of weeks,  no amount of positive attitude seems working. Although, I usually wake up with a smiling face. Telling yours truly… how I look so darn cute. Yes! It works darlin’. Kaya nga dyosa ang lola, never age…hahaha!  When you start your day with a smile and feeling  pretty..makes your world beautiful. But please take note! It doesn’t apply to everyone. If you have mental blindness in the mirror. Huwag mong ikareer etech gurl. Oh, come on! Huwag kang plastikada. I knew, that there are some people in your circle of life, that think, they are sexy and outrageously beautiful. Even if, the lord of the rings wanted to vanish them. Kahit na nagmumura na ugliness and chunkiness with full the overflowing of chakaness ang mga aura ni inday. Pretending pa rin , they don’t see themselves in Kuya Boy mahiwang salamin. Aminin! And you don’t know how to react and tell them…Gurl! You need Belo filler para mgakaroon ka ng cheekbone. Hahahaha!

Anyway, full stop muna dito etetch because I don’t want to make okray at this moment of time. Let’s focus how we can get inspired people of the universe. For all that, I totally agree, the greatest responsibility you can do yourself is accepting who you are and who you are not. Also means, huwag ka naman masyadong ilusyonada (delusional) sa sarili mo. Kasi mental illness na yan talaga if you are denying the combination of your parents genes. Like a typical Filipino would say…Friend na met ko na yong dyowa ni friendship natin. Sagot  ni B…Really that’s nice, ano face ng lolo mo? Sagot ni A, Ok lang, mabait neng…as in! So this is what I am talking…there are other aspect that we can make people remember us. Besides we have advance science that can enhance the areas that need to be fix. If you are poor naman, then be nice na lang. Kasi if your the goddess of chackaness and amoy kili-kili pa yong ugali mo. I don’t know who created you. Hahaha!

Back to the main objective na talaga. Hay! I’m losing my attention Spanish again. Lost naman ako sa topics…with capital S…kasi rich ako sa S, paki mo ba!? My brain is jumping from one form to another. Naguusap-usap sila at nililito nila ako promise. For those who doesn’t know yet, I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder).  Not medically proven according to my bolang crystal. Anyways, highways in Mactan. I get that, it’s not everyday, we can have climax, and even so, doesn’t mean your life is totally complete. Sometimes, even with all the love and rainbows that surround you, there is still a feeling of  being lost in the universe. Gets mo? Every waking moments, you try to understand the world that affects you.And justify like me, I am human so it’s only natural that we experience all kinds of pain in our existence.  If not, then I am the only child of Virgin Mary and St. Joseph di ba?

I am not really religious in true to life story. But this is the only way I can cope when I am getting confuse with all the drama I feel inside. Oftentimes, we wanted to believe that we have the greatest life in the world. Even if, we know it’s not. We all don’t. This is my opinion and if you don’t agree find something else to do. Like play with yourself. Hehehehehe! A friend of mine once asked me if I am truly happy. I answered with all honesty, according to my Valentino gown…hahahha…charing! Feeling Greta is potah. (I don’t have Valentino gown only haute couture from  Randy Ortiz.)…that I am not. And with the reaction I saw with a ows??? and huh???? it’s like I am from planet Jupiter. Next question is…but you are married? Oh juice ko ni inday! Ano feeling mo sa akin walang pakiramdam. In English, what do you think of me an alien?

Most people would probably think how great my life is because I have a very supportive Fafe (again , added factor I am married to a white boy) with a huge collection of LV’s and have a doting nanny. Ganun talaga mayaman gurl, may LV saka yaya. Hahahahah! Sarap sampalin si Lola! I myself wanted to believe that. But the reality is, I don’t. I have all kinds of issues that I’m trying to come into terms. For one, I worked since birth ata..not literally ok. Baka mabatantay-bata naman ako etetch. I’ve always been financially independent for as long as I can remember. And being a so called “Tai-tai” or housewife is something new in my resume. Emotionally, I feel that I am not contributing anything in the society. Though, I am not regretting my decision of giving up my job that I love so much. Apparently, I missed the drama and the stress of beating the deadline. My independence as a person. Parang prisoner of love naman ang dating ko. Hahahahaha. What I meant, you get to decide how you are going to spend your money when shopping. Yez! It’s big factor to me kaya…hello!

Being a housewife without kids is still a noble act OK. Because I am still making sacrifices. In fairy land,  I never really appreciate what my Mom gave up ’til I became a wife and housewife. Although, I’m still way too far since I don’t have kids yet. Thanks God! Nevertheless, I never thought that this is such difficult job. Putting the family first before your own is not that easy. Kaya nga when Scott got sick, I tried to be like this Super Darna wife. Hay! Lasted only 2 weeks. Oh my gosh! So hard to pretend. Kainis! I really hope a lot of husband and partner, girl, boy, vaklush, tomboy will appreciate people like me, giving up their dreams for the sake of love and family.

For those, who are in the same situation like me. If there is any. Gurl, it’s not easy putting up with all the demands of family whether you are in straight or gay relationship. You are not alone!  Honestly, I also don’t know how to cope. Everyday is like watching a telanovela. There is always twist and turns but you know it’s not a happy ending. You are not Princess Sara noh! Even Princess Diana died in tragedy. Despite of this, we all learned something from it. If not, please pretend na lang noh!?

As I am go through this phase of kadramahan. I’m discovering a new me. That I still have other talents…What talents kasi with s? I don’t know. Kaya nga I’m still discovering. What I am saying here, just make the best out of it. Surround yourself with positive people. Who respect the kind of life you have chosen. Be happy with what you have accomplish. Whether its in the past or present. Nobody can really make yourself happy except you. Embrace the ups and down of this so called living. If people try to pull you down, criticize you, or look down at you. Don’t just sit and let karma do the miracle. Hello! We have no super power. Stand up for yourself. Because the worst you can feel, is being manipulated by this little creatures. Most people who have nothing good to say to another human form are usually with low self esteem. By trying to be little other people. It gives them a sense of confidence that they are greater than you. So, don’t them give them that kind of opportunity. Because we are the goddess, the diwata and the fairies…we all have a special power within ourselves. Cheers! So huwag papaapi sa mga hampas lupa and ende natin kalahi. Dahil tayo ay dakila! Yong lang.

2. Reptiles and rodents in any form disgust me.

3. I don’t like sleeping alone, without lights, because I’m afraid that ghosts or monsters in closets and under the bed will abduct me or drag me out of bed.

4. I love watching and reading anything about history and scandal about famous people and royal families. I always thought I’m part of their circle of life. Hahahaha!

5. I never believe in marriage ’til I met Scott because I thought it’s a lot of hard work, and I was right! However, being married to your best friend make things less complicated. Even if I’m not in love with him everyday, I still think of him as the greatest dickhead in the world. *Love you fafe!!! muah! It’s still fun being married to him.

6. My attention span is usually low, that is why I’m constantly fidgeting when I’m just listening to peoples problem and whining. I also get bored when my brain is not busy with anything. I have this constant urge to think, that is why I love to exaggerate my failures and triumphs in life. So that I get to amuse myself.

7. When people ask me for advice on dating and love, I get lost half way through the conversation because I feel our lives shouldn’t revolve around relationships alone. Nothing personal, I’m just bored by the same old story. We have our own share of failures and we can’t make someone the center of our happiness. I feel that’s too unfair to the other person.

8. I don’t believe that couples should just give up when they have unresolved issues. I hate when people advise that because relationships are not meant to be perfect. There should be room for growth and improvement. Otherwise, life is so boring.

9. I usually trust people in all forms and size. I can be the greatest friend but once I feel you have betrayed me. I am your worst enemy. It will take heaven and earth, including hell before I can forgive and forget. Some people may not understand that because if God can forgive, why can’t I? (I was raised as Catholic) The good news is that I am not God and he gave man freewill. So, I have every right to hate you.

10. Nevertheless, once you have my total trust, I will stand by you no matter who are you, and what people think. I don’t like judging people because I am not perfect either. Every one has their own diva side, evilness and goodness.

11. I’m not fond of group hugs, cuddling with friends or any form of touching. I only do that with my mom and fafe. Not even to my sisters and dad. Once in awhile maybe.

12. I always felt I was a gay since I was little but never really thought about it til I reached my 20′s. Nobody really understood my reasons since they knew I’d dated a few guys and was such a slut in high school (things never change though…hahaha). Others thought I was just heartbroken by a man. I still think he was just a boy. But I’m glad that it was an easy transition for me. Since I was surrounded with friends who, at that time, were going through the same phase as I was. Being gay was the best thing I’ve embraced about myself and made me more human. Fafe is protesting, he thinks I’m a bi. Either way, I’m still happy. I believe love has no labels whether you prefer straight or gay as long as you are happy with who you are.

13. I don’t like any kind of sports because I am not competitive by nature. I only compete with myself. Plus, the clothes are ugly.

14. When I was young, I only had 3 pairs of shoes. Now, I have 130 pairs and still counting. Half of them I’ve never worn. But I feel a certain comfort in knowing that I can afford them.

15. I started working when I was 17 so never really enjoyed my life til now. I was constantly worried about not having money so I worked hard, even if the pay was low. For me, it’s better than nothing, and I’m glad I did, because it taught me responsibility.

16. I’m shopaholic by nature but I am also a wise shopper. It has to be a great bargain before I will even consider buying it, unless of course it’s bags, shoes or diamonds. But Scott always reminds me to read the entire sign before I go nuts. Usually, I pretend to listen but I never do. “Up to 70% off” is as good as big discount!!!

17. I don’t really like kids because I find them irritating and they are a lifetime commitment. I don’t care if other people choose to be a mother. I guess it could be the greatest sacrifice for some women, but mine is not buying another LV bag.

18. I’m usually funny because that’s the only way I can overcome my shyness. Yes, I also have issue with confidence. *Liar!!!…hahahhahah!

19. I’m addicted to lotion, which I apply every 15mins or less, to my hands and feet. Breakfast for me is a cigarette and a Coke. I love beer and margaritas but dislike the after taste of liquor.

20. I’m very sociable but mostly, I prefer to be alone.

21. I am obsessive-compulsive. Not medically proven but it drives me nuts when my pillows are not arranged properly, or when I see dust and smudges on the mirror. I want everything in the house to be in perfect order from place mats to bedsheets. Everything must be color coordinated.

22. I don’t follow trends because I don’t want to look like everyone else. That is why I prefer my hair to be permed all of the time because then I don’t look like a typical Filipino. Same goes with furniture. I want everything that suits my lifestyle.

23. I have 3 cats. Choy, my son from a previous relationship, lives in Manila. The other two, Tico (a diva like me) and Taco (a dickhead like his dad) live with us. Both are adopted from the SPCA and named after Tiffany & Co. That is why they only wear Tiffany. I love them to death but I’m a very strict mom. So usually they pretend to behave when I am around.

24. I don’t usually cry no matter how tough my life is. Only when I watch sad movies or when I’m so upset with someone, which is not good, because it means I want them to disappear from the world.

25. What you see is what you get. If you hate my guts, there is really nothing I can do. I usually don’t try to please everyone unless you’re special to me. Like a hot special pandesal.

So, here’ the eksena after few months of what we thought living in paradise, just like when you start dating. Pacute, japorma to the highest level, pay all the dates, full attention and always best foot forward. They won’t even dare to fart or burp in your face. A month later, true colors show and the nightmare start. Yez, this is exactly what happen to our new house. Keri over  lang sana kung mega ghost buster ang eksena. Pwede ka pang pagkakitaan tuwing halloween. Pero neng, dahil ang landlord namin ay isang talaga dyosa at beyond reach ang acting, walang signal ang potah. In short, they don’t freaking care of their responsibilities and expect tenants to just bear the cost of the repair which is really, really ridiculous. Kufal di ba? So thick, thick skin like leather.  For the last 5 years that Scott and I have been married and this is the 3rd time we move, we never had problems like this. Feeling ko talaga mahal ako ni Lord. Kasi ende ako nawawalan ng drama sa life. We’ve been complaining this to our agent for the longest time, from the roof that is falling apart, to the kitchen that stinks due to pipe and drainage problem. Neng, mas winner siya sa fart ni fafe. Now, we are like campers in the wilderness because we can’t even use our sink to wash our dishes. The water overflow inside our kitchen. Promise, it’s like living in manila during flood times or di kaya province na province talaga ang buhay namin. Kulang na lang magshooting kami ng telenovela. Poor Flash (My new nanny) is running out of her super power because she has to do washing outside of our house using a hose. We are living in ancient times. We don’t have our cable in our bedroom, because the landlord didn’t sign the consent for the cable company to fix it. So, wiz sila paki sa eksena namin. Fafe pretends to be an electrician na wala naman talent. He tried rewiring it but the signal is too weak. We only manage to get 2 channels. I end up watching most of the time Crime and Investigation and Style. Kaya ang lola mo, pranning na kasi nasobrahan sa pagiisip. Like, you know how these police officer and detective investigate. And some of cases, innocent people were being accused.  Kasi ang mga hitad naconfuse na nga and with matching panick atatck. Kaya ang ending, guilty verdict. So Fafe always tells me to know our rights and ask for a lawyer. Kasi baka ang mge eksena ko na, tipong, Are you coconuts? with matching hello I’m Ria Silbernick (who cares?) ay siya pang magpapahamak sa akin. Pero so scary di ba!? Especially when your upset, don’t even say you wanna harm that person pala because if something happen, you are the prime suspect. So, in any event that magkaroon ako ng bedscene with matching luwa na ang tongue (knock..knock in the wood), ang daming suspect. Maging crime of the century siya because I have so many hate-list. Hehehehe!

But really, it bugs me to the maximum level, as in nag straight na ang buhok ko because we are paying full monthly fees for our cable and not even enjoying it. We paid our rent on time. We are law abiding citizens. We pay our taxes. We don’t violate any of the rules here. Pero feeling ko, wala man lang protection ang mga consumer. Hello…pag bigla ako nawala…love you guys….hahahahaha. I am really frustrated. At mga eksena ko pa naman dito, ende ko alam dahil ako’y isang dugong bughaw kaya super alipin etech or watta what. Sa sweldo babaratin ka rin ng pagkabongga-bongga, as if naman pesos ang pinapanglustay mo. Sa trabaho kailangan pinaghalong Darna, Iron Man, Bat Man and She-Man ang eksena mo. Bago sign ng autograph ang lola mo, ng contrata sa bahay, kailangan site nila muna ang vital statistics ko kung talagang professional etetch at ende pulot sa gay bar. Pero sila, ende naman nila ginagawa yong obligation nila basta eksena ng mga hitad, ayaw maglabas ng pera gusto pasok lang. Kaya cguro binuo na mallit ang mata ni goddess. Kasi imagine naman gurl kung magkasing laki kami ng eyeballs, di nagmumurang greediness na talaga etetch. Hahahaha! Ok, I love you again guys…..baka ende na ako makapagsulat….hahahaha!

In short, ganech ko kamahal itong bayan na etech. Dahil wala akong masabi sa pagaaruga at pag-aalaga nila lalo na sa mga dyosa na katulad ko. *Charing! Hay! Buti pa mga teddy bear sa Alaska, may figthing spirit. Dito, kinukuba ka na sa pagtatrabaho, wiz pa rin. Purleta pa rin ang aura mo. Kaya kahit mag-anak, ende pwede fight captain barbel lang parati. Ok, I am not really fond of babies…that’s another story. Next episode na lang yan neng. Raising kids here is not so easy because there are so many things you have to consider especially the cost of living. You will be amazed with such a small area here, parang 4 bedrooms condo in makati ang tag price. But because it is safe and convenient, kaya ang hitad magpapaka Jose Rizal na lang ako dito. Kasi ende mo rin naman talaga mabuy la and peace of mind. Uyyy…nascared ang lola….baka mawala sa eksena. Hint…hint…Changi here we come! Hahahahaha.Keri over naman talaga sana kaso parang pagkalayas mo sa house, talaga naman heart attack ka. Taxi palang, chickahan ka ng todo-todo, then ask ano agency ka? Hahahahaha! Sa groceries, feeling naglalakad sa santa cruzan ang iba, Dalhin ba ang buong angkan. Kailangan ba gawin field trip etech. Pagnagpaparepair ka naman sa house, tatanungin ka agad, may iniwan bang pangbayad si ma’am mo? Pag fly ka naman sa palengke, akala mo may nagsasampalan na sa tabi mo. Laging sila mad sa mundo. Kasi kulang sila sa sex. Kaya etech mahina ang population nila. Hahahahahaha. Kasi stress rin sina spermie…..ika ng ng isang friendship ko sa dyowa nya…” I will sperm you…..” hint…hint…sino yon?

Anyways, I have no diversion right now since fafe is invalid due to his slipped disc. I swear! Pwede na akong ipasok sa mental institution. Everyday para akong nasasapian. My head is so hot (Mainit ang ulo ng lola mo). I feel emotionally unbalance. Juice ko neng! So dramatics of me! In fairyland, everything is fine with my life naman. Nagiinarte lang ako because fafe is not paying attention to me and I have to admit, attention seeker ang lola mo. Kaya lahat ng major kaartehan ginawa ko na, kulang na lang tumuwad ako sa toilet bowl. Nevertheless, there is really nothing significant changes in my life that I need to be concern of. My cats are still fatty and diva, I still have my 120 pairs of shoes, and 13 pieces of LV’s. O! Magyabang ba. Thanks goodness, this is my blog! Hahahaha! Kungdi nagsuka na mga utaw sa kamundohan. So definitely my life is still the same. I even got a better new nanny now, fabulous compare to that evil bitch. And just like me, dyosa rin siya sa paglilinis. As in neng! Obsessive-compulsive, mahihiya si Kapitan Kidlat sa bilis nya kumilos, Fafe calls her Flash Gordon. Sometimes, we make decision not knowing whether it is good or bad, but when you relay to batman na kalachuchi ni Iron man, there is really a reason for everything. That time, when I fired that bitch, I really felt so bad because I thought in my heart I was being mean. Yon palang potah, isang Anaconda. She turn and twist the story. I can not believe how some people can even have the conscience to do that. Grabe!!! As in she so evil. On the contrary, it was a blessing in disguise because we got  a better nanny.

Anyhow, since I have a very limited edition of brain cell. I figure out, that perhaps one of the reasons why this past few days, I’m having a lot of mood swings. First, I’m a turning 35 this year, January is ending so soon and it seems I’m aging fast before my eyes. I’m trying to grasp from the bottom of my botox (Btw, I haven’t done it yet, maybe soon) that life full shit and eklat, and this is one of the things we can not avoid as we grow. Please don’t get me that kind of crap that we should not be afraid of this process of our existence. Hello! Which planet of the universe you came from. It’s too soon for me to be labeled as middle age in 4 years time. I know, you are thinking, I’m such a shallow bitch whining about this silly things in life when most of us have a bigger problems. Well, I’m sorry if you feel that way. But what can I do, this blog is all about me, me and me. Go and write your own blog. Hahahahaha! Ok serious na etetch, the fact is, I’m bitching not merely because I’m afraid to age. Slight lang. It’s more of, adjusting to the reality that true nga etetch,  we really don’t have all the time in this world. Then, you wonder if you really have live your life to the fullest? Can you honestly say that you are truly happy of what you become? Like Tito Boy Abunda would say, here’s the mahiwagang mirror…what will you say to yourself? Actually, it comes down to how you define your own happiness. If you are a materialistic person like me…hahahaha…as in I am not even shy to admit it. Simple things that money can buy is a pure bliss.

Secondly, with the economic situation we are all facing right now added the fact that most of my friends and love ones are going through difficult times, financially and emotionally. You can’t help but felt everything seems unstable. I know there is really nothing I can do. Hello! I am not a super hero who can change the world. (But love the costume anyway) Oh wait, my Juice! Do you think I’m dying?  Hahahahaha! Because this is not totally ME! Seriously! So, what’s the point of my being so concern citizen when I’m not greatly affected. And I have this so called perfect life. Yeah right, in my wet dreams! Whoever says that there life is perfect is just full of shit. Haler! You’re not the goddess of the planet earth! Even Gretta have a problem. How do I know? Close kami kaya…hahahahah! Even if you have all the money in the world. Which I don’t have. All I have, are my shoes in different shades. Apparently, as we age and matured (???), we see life in a different perspective. When I was young, my impression of life is pure fun and laughter (as if it ever change…hehehehe). All I think is boys ( Ok, I wasn’t gay til I reach 24 so huwag magreact dyan ang mga vaklush), which shoulder pads to use in my outfit and the latest chicka (news) of the century. Now, every day is a constant struggle. There are more things you worry about. Bigger responsibilities not only from your family but friends and siblings. And since Christmas, I haven’t heard any great news except Obama became the president. But I am not American naman only Fafe. Unless, we don’t have to pay his taxes, then it’s really good news to us. I am also thinking what’s gonna happen to us in the next 11 months if the economy  doesn’t get any better. Fafe can not be a farmer na because he has a slipped disc. I can’t be a porn star because of my age. I’m really running out of options.

Thirdly, after 2 weeks of trying to be this  so called “wife”, I realize that it’s not my calling. I no longer have the power and dedication to serve the king of the house. Yez, nagka nosebleed ang lola mo sa pagkukunwari. Although, Scott is not literally treating me like a slave (close to a servant only). Ende na talaga kayang ikareer. Maybe, that is why I feel like being bewitch by some form of spell. Hahahaha! I know he is sick and I got that he is in pain. But my wonder boobs naman! The bitching and whining, it’s a like a woman who is labor for 48hrs. Anyways, for those who cares (kasi konti lang naman friends ni fafe sa facebook…hehehehehe!), he is slowly recovering.  Good grief! We seek a second opinion from another doctor. Turn out the specialist who is initially looking after him (ende siya promil kid) gave him a less effective medicines. Naks! Ende ako makaokray di ba? Pero ang gaganda nila. Kailangan painomin ng gatas kasi kulang sa vitamins ang mga brains. It really serve us a good lesson, that next time don’t just relay to what they say but always double check the medicines they are giving, what it does and side effects. Kasi pag nawow mali ka, neng, mahal ang magpatanggal ng wrinkles. And what’s more nakakainis, ende ka pwede mag maldita dahil sampid lang ang eksena mo dito. And ito pa ang malupit, napagkamalan naman na yaya ang lola mo, kahit mega outfit etetch at with matching nakakablind na diamonds. Samantaling si fafe naka slippers lang with matching hole in the pants, amo pa rin tinggin nila. Dahil ako’y isang pinoy! *Period!*

Which makes realize that there is really no place like home. For the first time, I felt so helpless because I really don’t know what to do and who to ask for advice. It’s our  first time in 7 yrs since we live here, to be sick this serious. There is really no emotional support like the way we have in Philippines. Yeah, I have friends here (Ano naman feeling nyo sa akin such a loser walang friends dito). In fact, I’m so grateful that my local friends are so helpful and accommodating to all my questions, knowing I have no clue of who is the best doctor in town. But then,  you can’t keep disturbing them because everyone is also busy with their life. Unlike in the Philippines, you can’t really feel that you are bothering them because people seem have the time for everyone. We have this bayanihan culture, in short for teamwork, were all friends and family members gather to help each other in times of crisis like this. I actually missed it. Coming from a different background, how everyone get so concern kahit si boy na  kapitbahay mo sa kabilang kanto e mega concern citizen. Most of the time, friends and family member will be more dramatic when it comes to this kind of situation.However, in a very peculiar way, iba rin pala feeling mo if you have this kind of support. Thus, makes me realize the beauty of being a true blooded Filipino and an Ilonggo. As everyone knew, due to my bad experience with some Filipinos I met here, I lost my faith and trust to my own kind. They seems take advantage of your hospitality and generosity, especially when you are married to a white guy. Some of them, are just purely evil and very much related to Valentina na kabit ni Anaconda. They don’t even feel any remorse. In fact, they are even so proud kung nakaisa sila sa kapwa nilang pinoy. Feeling nila they are so good because they outsmart you.  Kailan pa naging glamourous ang mga freeloader? Hint…hint…sino kaya yon? Hahahaha!  I simply call them, leeches and parasites. Wandering in your house, sucking everything that they can take til you have nothing to give. Kaya kids, don’t play with the poor. Hahahaha!

Oh, feels so good to be bitching again. It’s liberating! The bottom line here, you don’t have to be so fucking nice to everyone especially for people who call themselves humans but is acting like parasite. They are aliens from Pluto that doesn’t exist but just a pest to the society. And since, most of us including me relay in karma and hope that God will show them the light, which I am sure they won’t because they belong to the dark side. We simply let it go and just say…Bahala na si Lord (They will just answer this to the lord). Gamitin ba, pati ang Diyos! Haler!

Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year to every one!

*Yon lang, bow*

So, the big drama really started after he twisted his neck. Which I don’t understand why men are such a wimp when they are sick or in pain. Parang kalabaw na ginagahasa. Yeah, I got it that they are in pain. But really, it’s like taking care of a baby na malalaki na ang ipin. They are such a whinny bitch with matching tantrums. I wish someone have mention to me before I get married that men act like this when they are sick. Day, puro naman kasi they live happily ever after ang mga ending sa fairytale.  I spoke to some of my married friends and they say it’s normal for husband to act like babies when they are in pain. But hello, women go through a lot of pain too, from the moment we reach puberty to giving birth. Pero, keri over naman natin as in para tayong si superwoman na kabit ni superman. Kahit na nagmumukha na tayong aswang na kinakatay, pero we still don’t mewl like a child. When you ask them what is wrong, potah, it’s like your some kind of another form of specie who doesn’t ever get sick and that you don’t understand their discomfort. If you try to baby them, the more they will act like it’s end of the world. Nga-ngaragin ka talaga.  As if there’s a fire in the neighborhood. You have to be alert and attentive to their every needs. Dakilang alila ang auro ko, in short I’m a diva slave ang acting ko ngayon.

Of course, there were times I’m kind of losing my mind and patient. I am not really a wife material who knows how to really take care of husband and kids. The only kids I have is my cats that sometimes makes me go nuts. My training is to be gay and diva.  But it’s amazing how you do things in the name of love and marriage. When he finally agreed to see the doctor after how many cursing and begging. I was really scared of the result. I felt my whole world is going to collapse in front of me. This is what makes me realize more how much this dick head meant a lot to me…hahahahaha! Good thing it wasn’t a  life threatening situation but he has to see a Physiotherapist for few weeks to help him ease the pain. The doctors are kind enough to explained to us, especially to me every details the pros and cons. We are also seeing a specialist for the spine and he assured us that it is not that bad. I know, I can be so drama and in panic mode every time I see him throbbing in pain. But  I really  wish it was me suffering rather than him…